Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:10pm

You say "There's plenty of time left over to play with the kids after the housework is done."


I (and others say) "There's plenty of time left over to clean the house after you play with and educate teh kids"


The point is ... for ANY SAHM the kids should come first. IF there is time left to do some housework, it should, by all means, be done. If there isn't, so be it.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:11pm
How much play time do we need? We had plenty after the housework was done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:12pm
Please point out where you mentioned housework in the post I was responding to. You said that the wohp should not be forced to watch the kids unless they feel like it. YOU were not talking about housework.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:15pm

<<What is done for 9 hours while the WOHP is away is supervision.>>


What? I think MOST SAHMs do much more than supervise their children while at home. They play with them. They teach them. They take them places, etc, etc, etc. If all a mom is providing is supervision, why even have a SAHP?


<>


And how, pray tell, is mom supposed to get the hosuework done while she's at the park watching her kids? FTR, I sometimes sat on my ass adn read a book while my kids played at the park. But, for the most part, I was chasingthem (playing MOMster ... sav's word for monster) or helping them up ladders or pushing them on the swings.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:16pm

Don't you love it, LOL?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:16pm
Well without knowing the situation and individuals personally, you can only say what works for YOU-not make generalizations about how people are supposed to run their homes.

And what about child care in all of this? A sahp with 3 kids under 5 is supposed to fit in 20 hours of housework each week, plus let the working parent sit on their arse when they come home and do nothing????? That adds up to a lot more than 40 hrs of work


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:19pm
Again, you cannot make a blanket statement about how much child care should be required per family. There is much more to it most of the time than mere *supervision*. And not every child naps or plays quietly while the sahp is *reading a book at the park* (I personally never read a book while at the park. I was too busy playing on the equipment WITH my children).

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 6:36pm
How long has it been since you had a 2yo?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 8:51pm
So don't take my word for it. The course of my life won't change one bit.

You seem to be under the erroneous impression I actually CARE about your opinion of my posts.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 8:59pm
But isn't your whole argument based on the SAHP (or PTWOHP in this case) not bringing in the dough. . . getting a break as you said? I can quote some of your own posts back to you about it.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03

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