Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 9:57pm
Yeah, well, what YOU think isn't in play for most families (thank God).

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:01pm

Actually, they do require childcare during their naps and also while at the park.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:20pm

<<If one party has 45 more hours at home and there's 20 of housework to do,>>


they have 20 hours of housework and 30-40 hours of childcare to do ... why do you keep ignoring the fact that SAHPs have to spend time with their kids?



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:24pm
Isn't that the truth! It would be so sad. Way too sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:31pm
Funny. I have no concern or care of you or any one in this world questioning the amount & role a tv plays in our lives & upbringing of our child(ren). Why would I care? I don't, that is the point.I could care less what others do in their own lives, how much they watch tv, how much they allow it, if they serve pop ups for dinner while watching six hours of tube tv. Don't know where you got that stupid idea. lol! NO big deal with tv here. We started our baby out first thing getting use to the tube always being on & it being a part of life. You don't think too much tv is good for anyone. There you go judging & trying to put your own ideals on others. Sorry. Doesn't work. We are a tv family & raising our baby (and the future kids) to be little tv people. My hubby & I do try to spend every second we can together. But he & I have our interests. Some of those we can do & still be home. Other things one of us are or both of us are out doing something. Plus he has the marketing, errands, cooking & if I'm not sitting there watching him cook & talking with him (or we are watching a show together on the tube while he is cooking) then I am doing something of interest to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:33pm
I just became a SAHM. I play with the baby all day. I have a maid to clean. My job is to play & care for the baby. Not clean. I'd be happy to clean (but I'm one of those that can't stand dust or dirt, clutter or disorganization & everything has to look & smell clean at all times. My hubby says his mother didn't clean (she is a neat nik like me) so why should his wife? Not going to argue with that. So I SAH to play w/my baby. Not be a maid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:35pm
Uh, I think her point was that you telling Cyndi (Grimalkin) that her lifestyle was like something from outer space was no different than her criticism of yours and paiges excessive tv watching. Could that have flown any higher over your head?????

If you *dont care*, why are you debating other peoples life choices???

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:37pm
Whhhoooooooosh! That went right over your head & fizzled, didn't it? I'd re-explain it but I have no use to re-explain simple logic time & time over. Besides, it is bottle time for my baby. We are going to watch blues clues while the baby has the late night bottle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:39pm
Nah, didn't go over my head. I just think it is stupid people care how others raise their kids & how much tv families watch. But I guess you guys have to have something to worry about, eh? I'm more concerned about getting these boxes unpacked & this new house set up while learning my way around this new town. Then to hire a maid, nanny, and find a job for blowing money for my hubby & I.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: debcote
Sun, 09-19-2004 - 10:53pm
<> Seriously....I don't have any idea WHERE this comes from but your own marriage.

I thought you were a huge proponent of Dads spending time with the kids and having mom work so that he's more involved? But now Dads *shouldn't* spend time with the kids alone while mom (whether she works OR stays home) goes out for the evening?

I've NEVER hired a sitter to go out. Neither has DH. That's one of the most ridiculous theories I've heard. DH plays golf Saturday mornings. Um, I stay with the kids. It's voluntary. I don't mind. That's HIS TIME after working all week. He encourages me to go do things alone or with friends (though I rarely do). Everyone needs some time away from family. It's healthy. In our relationship, it doesn't matter WHO is home with the kids. And I wouldn't be married to someone for long who didn't pitch in and watch the kids from time to time so I could go do whatever...

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