Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:44pm
Not advising it. It's what I see when I take my kids to the park. I see moms chatting, reading books, whatever while the kids play. I actually played with my kids but then again, since I WOH, I don't have time to waste.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:46pm
I am. I'm not a proponent of mom treating dad like he's her fill in for her breaks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:47pm
My posts are about the OP. The OP is sitting around whining that her dh isn't giving her breaks. Her attitude about fathers sucks.

You don't expect someone else to take care of your needs. You do it yourself.


Edited 9/20/2004 9:48 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:52pm

First, let's realize that not all SAHPs are moms.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:54pm
How about you answer the question.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 9:56pm

But when DAD does the same thing we are talking about (allowing mom to SAH with the kids while he goes out to do whatever), then you are fine with it.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 10:09pm
And your attitude about spouses and partners sucks.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 10:47pm
There are other ways to support a family other than bringing home $$$$$--surely you understand that?

How much money does one family need anyway? DS gets so much more out of my being home with him than he would if I were still working.

And yes, I do the lion's share of the household chores, but DH pitches in every once in a while, I'm a homemaker, not a servant.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:01pm
You mean beyond the obvious reasons, right? LOL. Basically this particular line of personal affront by coconut is nothing more than a variation on, "How DARE you expect me to debate on a debate board?" with a bit of "And expose how I've misrepresented my career choice?" thrown in for variation.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: debcote
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 11:04pm
"You don't expect someone else to take care of your needs. You do it yourself."

This choice quote along with your attitude in general makes me wonder why you ever bothered to get married.

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