Big Fat Lie
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Big Fat Lie
| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm |
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
When my dh comes home from work the house is clean, necessary shopping is done, the children have been supervised, homework is done and dinner is ready. Appointments have been made and kept, the family finances are current, important family dates have been remembered (MIL's b'day was just last week, she has her own version of wmds should it be forgotten, lol) PTA meetings were had, soccer practice was attended, the various school voluteering commitments were held, the dog was walked and in my case today 2 cords of firewood were stacked out back. Forget the gym, by entire body is just one big sore muscle tonite and it didn't involve expensive equipment!
Sooooo, if I want a night out with friends I've done my fair share, dh knows it and tells me to have a good time. Fortunately for us we function as a loving team rather than jealous entities who are constantly on the lookout for inequities.
I was always able to get most of the housework done most days as well. I like a clean, neat and tidy atmosphere and that is usually what I managed. However, there were always things left over for the weekend that I found too difficult to do on my own while supervising kids when they were very young (lawn mowing, snow shoveling, sometimes heavy bathroom cleaning, laundry when we had the facilities in the basement of an apartment building). Those things got done on the weekend together.
Laura
This may also be one of those areas also where people overlook that some things are sometimes harder to do uninterrupted when you have one child. I am de facto sibling substitute as well as mom. There have been many times when I have had DS have a playmate over *in order to* get some housework done. (Not that I have the mistaken impression that siblings generally play well together - my brother and I often came up with things to do specifically in order to avoid each other, but that worked to get us out of Mom's hair too.)
GKK is making it sound like we moms have an opportunity to simply teach our young children soon after infancy to play on their own for long stretches of time. I really don't think you can train them in that way. My 3 are normal, happy children, but when I leave the room, they follow me. I've also known friends who tried to teach their young children to be independent so they could work at home. It never works, mom ends up frustrated and the family ends up using dc.
For a few short years, the child wins, and I can live with that. My house was cleaned top to bottom at the end of last week. Today, Tuesday, it's a mess with toys everywhere. It happens.
Horrified, she called poison control, who sent an entire rescue (fire truck and all) to her house. Luckily, the bleach had dissipated and there was no problem, but you can bet that she never ever did that again!
My 9 month old pretty much requires constant attention at this point. Whenever I get to post here during the day, it's nursing time and he's on my lap. He's also just learning to walk, so I need to be nearby to tend to him when he falls and gets scared. I just don't know how I'd be expected to make the hardwoods gleam while watching him. It's not the reason I SAH.
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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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