Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 2:01pm
And whatever Grimal's normal is I don't want to live it.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 2:25pm
What am I even holding my breath for a response to this? She'll just disappear until this thread goes into archive.....
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 2:30pm
Why not? Especially if he's already home and willing and able?

Does your DH expect YOU to watch the kids while he goes out for breaks? And you resent it? So that's where all this is coming from?

DH *IS* my fill-in for breaks. Not every day or every week and I don't demand it from him. But he IS the one who will watch the kids while I go see a movie or attend a baby shower. That's part of his responsibility as a parent to our children.

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 3:35pm
I easily spend 2 hours a day cooking dinner. If you roast a chicken or make a roast how does it not take 1 1/2 or 2 hours to cook? Ditto for something like stewed chicken. If I am in a hurry I can make dinner in less time but I usually don't. If I am in that much of a hurry I will usually pick up something pre-made.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 3:37pm
I'm going to play your game. Show me where I said I was stressed out? I am back to working half days now so I am not home any more.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 3:43pm
I think the difference is that you think the WOHP should not do ANYTHING around the house while most of us feel that the WOHP has an obligation to pitch in and do SOMETHING around the house. Doing something does not translate to coming home and cleaning the house from top to bottom.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 4:04pm
But that doesn't require you to do nothing but watch the chicken roast for 90 minutes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 4:11pm
I feel the WOHP should not be a cad and should have "chores" as part of the family.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 4:12pm

If I cooked the way I *wanted* to all the time I'd easily take 1.5-2 hours for dinner each night. But I don't. For a myriad of reasons, but its definitely possible.


Just this weekend I splurged and made fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy and it took almost 2 hours from start to finish.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: debcote
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 4:14pm
I agree to an extent, but htink she might have been referring to having to start dinner so far ahead and not being able to leave the house, etc while it's cooking. And with something in the oven or on the stovetop, you still have to check it, baste it, etc every 15-20 minutes.


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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