Big Fat Lie
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Big Fat Lie
| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm |
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!
When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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Funny you should ask, because she is now doing 1.5 or 2 hours more of housework a day than previously.
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Actually, the OP was complaining that her husband does little to nothing around the house, including refusing to help care for his own children.
The thing is, in many families who have chosen to have a SAHP (I am talking about families where the decision was agreed on by all, not a unilateral decision by one person) the expected work-load and focus for the SAHP (from both the SAHP and the WOHP) would be similar to what you expect from your nanny: the primary focus should be the children and sometimes housework simply won't get completely done. It certainly shouldn't get done at the expense of the quality of care the SAHP provides the children, though it should usually be possible to keep up with most of the day-to-day stuff, especially as the kids get older.
Laura
But regardless of whether you can sneak a peak at the newspaper or tv for a few minutes if you are cooking you really can't be doing much of anything else. I can't go outside and pull weeds if that is what needs to be done. I need to be inside when I am cooking. I can't do grocery shopping while dinner is cooking. I can't go upstairs and clean the closets if that is what needs to be done.
There seems to be this notion that SAHMs have every second of the day to do whatever they want so they should never as their dh for a break because their entire life is a break. And I know that just isn't true. The fact of the matter is that if you have to be in a certain place you are simply not available to do something in another place.
Jenna
If I'm baking chicken, doing a roast, etc. - pop it in the oven for 30 minutes (or the slow cooker) and I can walk away and do something else around the house.
I probably shouldn't leave the house if something's in the oven, but I have taken the dog for a walk around the block. Maybe I'm not cooking as "fancy" of meals as you are, but I usually have a chunk of downtime when I'm making dinner.
Some people would rather cook a home cooked meal on a nightly basis than spend all day Saturday or Sunday cooking. Also, some people really hate frozen food and prefer to eat fresh.
BTW-I think it is a fire hazard to leave food cooking unattended.
Jenna
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