Big Fat Lie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Big Fat Lie
870
Sat, 09-11-2004 - 1:41pm
I'm the mother of 2. I have 2 boys, one is 2 1/2, the other is 4 months old. Before I had my second baby, I was a full time nurse and was making more money than my husband. That being said, he never really had a problem with it. The extra money helped us pay for extras. Well, I decided after the second child, that I would stay at home most of the week. I work only 2 days a week, 6 hours a day. Now all of the sudden, I do EVERYTHING. He does not get up at night with this baby, he does not keep the house clean with me, NOTHING I do is important enough. (He plays softball once a week, goes out with the guys after etc.) I do not do anything. (Actually I get to go to Weight Watchers on Fridays while my mom watches the kids.) I have no life anymore, and his life is fantastic! I tried to take a class, but he wouldn't help with the kids enough so I couldn't stick with it.

When we got married we were going to share all responsibilities, take care of the kids TOGETHER, do the housework TOGETHER. It was all just a BIG FAT LIE!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: debcote
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 11:53pm
I wasn't freezing it. Since I cooked once a week for the whole week, I just put it all up in the fridge.

And as charlesmama says, you can defrost in the fridge without ANY bacterial bloom issues.

I wasn't TRYING to lose weight that filing season; I certainly wasn't trying to count calories in anyway. I was just very surprised that I did lose weight, as I was expecting to gain it (the normal filing season result).

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
In reply to: debcote
Thu, 09-23-2004 - 11:54pm
Well, except it's also untrue that the ONLY way to have fresh foods prepared daily is to spend 2 hours a day doing it.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 10:21am
So what? I didn't say it was the only way to have freshly prepared foods. I agreed with you that it is true that it is totally unecessary to spend 2 hours a day preparing dinner. Are you looking to argue just for the sake of argument?

Jenna


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 1:40pm
Note to all who have asked. Thanks....I went home and looked at my stuff last night and realized that I have added three or four dishes since I typed it up, and there's a couple I don't make anymore, so the thing is full of chicken scratches, deletions and arrows and asterisks that hardly make sense to me, much less anyone else. I really need to re-type it just for myself, never mind anyone else. And I will be glad to e-mail directions to anyone who wants them. I'll post when it's ready and let everyone know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:32pm
Because a SAHP has responsibilities in addition to those a nanny has, and I don't think a SAHP should spend 40 hours a week doing nothing but interacting with the child or children to the detriment of other life and household related duties.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:37pm

"That is one of the reasons I stopped working ft. So that I could provide that for my family. "


I'm in the minority here because I'm willing to go through a lot of decreases in my daily quality of life to continue to work FT.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:42pm
If it is not necessary for a SAHP to interact with the children to the exclusion of other activities, why should it be necessary (or even a good thing) for the nanny to focus on the children to the exclusion of all else? If you prefer your nanny to focussed at all times on the children because you feel that your children benefit from that kind of focus in some way, why do you find it so hard to imagine that other parents might also prefer to gain those advantages and have the SAHP put other activities secondary to the primary task of caring for children.

You feel that a SAHP should have more responsibilities during the day than a nanny does, but that is only how you and your dh would structure it, not necessarily a universal given. Other families prefer to see the model working similarly to that of having a nanny: the SAHP acts mainly as a caregiver for the children during the day, doing light housekeeping and cleaning up after the kids and then both the SAHP and the WOHP are on duty during evenings and weekends....much in the same way that dual WOHPs do it. The only difference is that a parent is acting as a caregiver rather than dc or a nanny.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:47pm
But I would be curious....if you could decrease your hours somewhat (say go down to 30-35 hours per week instead of 40) without loss of benefits, vacation or advancement possibilities (but perhaps with a slight decrease in salary) would you be inclined to consider it? Is it a purely financial issue or does it have more to do with the need to be exactly equal with your dh on on levels, including work time? I would imagine that you might struggle even harder to keep the work load even at home if you had a few more hours off per week, but I was just curious as to some of your reasons why working ft is so critical for you.


Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:53pm

"hy do you find it so hard to imagine that other parents might also prefer to gain those advantages and have the SAHP put other activities secondary to the primary task of caring for children. "


I don't find it hard to imagine.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: debcote
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 2:56pm

I don't see that an extra 5 or 10 hours a week AH is going to make much difference either AH or at work.

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