"Broadening your Horizons"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
"Broadening your Horizons"
234
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 8:41pm
Okay, I've been scanning through the posts below, and this is something that has grabbed my attention. There are those here who seem to believe that you can only broaden your horizons by going to college or joining the peace corps or military. It also seems that doing so as a young person (directly out of high school) is preferable.

So, I'm curious about how people feel these things actually "broadened their horizons", and how that has benefited them in their lives so far. I'm also curious how you feel this has benefited you more so than someone who might have opted out of college/military/peace corps.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Pages

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 2:31pm
31 is hardly "advanced." I know one woman who got her Ph.D at age 70. And another man I know went back at age 65 -- after retiring from being an accountant -- and got his degree in music.

Perhaps you need to broaden your experience.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 2:55pm
Another point about "Broadening your Horizons", it is not something that automactically comes to you just becuase you are in a certain situation. In just about every assignment we have had I knew at least one person/family who basically never left their dorm room/home because "Things are wierd her, its not like this at home". That has been the case with both overseas and stateside assignments.

I am fairly sure that some that went the college route knew some similiar people.

So someone that is curious about people and the world around them and never live more then 5 minutes from the place they were born could have more broad horizons then someone who is a "world traveler".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:05pm
So let me ask you, then. How is your going to college, being as it is your goal and dream, different from me skipping college to be a SAHM and wife, being as that is my goal and dream?

That is what I just don't get about this part of the debate. I knew from VERY early on that I wanted to be a SAHM and a wife and drive a minivan (lol...yes, a minivan). Now, 8 years after HS is over, I am living it, and that is STILL what I want. That was my dream. That was my goal, and I attained it. Just as going back to college is for you. I guess I just don't get the difference.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:22pm
Oh...I see! ITA.

I've learned so much from my MIL and her experiences and she never ventured inside a college class! She spent her life working in factories and other back breaking work. But seeing the life of those around me does make me appreciate the education I have so much more...I have options, opportunities...things my MIL always wished she had.

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:22pm
I guess that is where we differ. I don't view people who skipped college as "uneducated". Heck, my husband is one of the most intelligent people I have ever known, interacts well with EVERYONE I have ever met, knows about more things than most anyone I have ever met, and he didn't even finish 10th grade in HS.

Different strokes, I guess!

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:25pm
Actually, for college it is. Most people who don't early don't go. Read the post I was responding to. We tend to grow up a lot from 20-25. What I gained from college, I didn't gain just because I grew up. I was a lot more grow up when I went than the average college student.
Avatar for biancamami
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:25pm
I knew a boy in my dorm who NEVER left campus. That's OK if maybe your College is in Ithaca or something....but it was in NYC!! That boggled my mind. Why would you go to school in one of the most exciting places on earth never to step foot outside the campus?

Weird!

Ana
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 3:47pm
But that is the point...just because not every 19 year old is ready to have a family and/or children, doesn't make it wrong for everyone. I find it really amazing that some of the very people who claim to have "broadened their horizons" are the same people who then sit back and judge the very different choices other people have made. And I'm not necessarily talking about you here.

Am I going to be different at 30 than at 20? Yes, most everyone is. Will I be different at 40 than 30? Yes, again, most everyone is. And it continues up until we die. But that doesn't mean that we should all wait until we are 40 or 50 to have children just becuase OOPS, we might change a little in who we are. We ALL evolve. We ALL grow, or at least that is the goal. We can do so married or unmarried, college graduated or not, in a career or not, with children or without.

It is actually a very good thing that I did not wait until 30 or 35 to have a child because I wouldn't have had one! Here I am 26, and looking at no more children, so thank God for my decisions up until now! Had I waited to marry my husband, would I have? No, probably not. He was hurt just a little over 2 years after we married. I was only 20 years old! Would I have taken on a husband who I was going to have to care for most all of my adult life? A husband who I will most likely bury before my children have children? Probably not. Who would? Somehow everything that I chose has worked out. My husband and I had 2 years to grow together, for our love to grow, for our committment to grow before he was hurt. We had one child and one on the way. And it hasn't been easy...not at all. But by me being a "uneducated", young, SAHM, I have been able to care for my husband. I have been able to properly care for my children. And I have grown more in knowing who *I* am, and who WE are as a couple and a family. Going through what we have over the last 5 years has really made me grow as a person and my "horizons broaden" more than any formal education ever will.

Yes, they are different, but EVERYONES lives are different. That is what makes us all so individual. Personally...I think that is great, but then I'm not "educated", so what do I know?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 4:00pm
But is it a mind-altering experience that everyone NEEDS? I could say the same for being a mother. It is a mind-altering experience. But that doesn't mean we should force EVERYONE to be parents, or even judge them because they are not. Parenthood just isn't for everyone!

I could also say that being the wife of someone who is disabled is a mind-altering experience, but that doesn't mean we should harm YOUR spouse just to give you the same experience.

Or even life as a military wife, or as a soldier. Just because it works for this person or that person doesn't mean that it is good for all.

We all have different things in our lives that we go through that make us grow as people, spouses, parents, children, neighbors, etc. If we all had the same experiences in life, it would be a pretty boring world with pretty cookie-cutter lives.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 4:33pm
Yes, ITA. My aunt is the one person who pushed me to stay in school. She would say, "Get your education. It's a wonderful opportunity."

But I've also met some highly successful people -- one of whom is my mentor -- who didn't step foot in a classroom. He was ready to go to college when his father lost the family business. So he didn't go.

One night I was listening to Paul Harvey and he was telling these stories about these successful men who founded some of the world's greatest universities. I think he mentioned seven men -- and talked about how all seven had one thing in common. He didn't say what it was until the end. Successful rich men men all -- but not one had gone to college.

outside_the_box_mom

Pages