"Broadening your Horizons"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
"Broadening your Horizons"
234
Fri, 04-04-2003 - 8:41pm
Okay, I've been scanning through the posts below, and this is something that has grabbed my attention. There are those here who seem to believe that you can only broaden your horizons by going to college or joining the peace corps or military. It also seems that doing so as a young person (directly out of high school) is preferable.

So, I'm curious about how people feel these things actually "broadened their horizons", and how that has benefited them in their lives so far. I'm also curious how you feel this has benefited you more so than someone who might have opted out of college/military/peace corps.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:13am
Knowledge and intelligence, which your husband might certainly have, are not the same as educated.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:20am
You say being a SAHM fulfilled you more than college ever could but you dont know that. You never went to college. You dont if ciollege would have been fulfilling. Besides, it isnt an either/or proposition. There are several SAHM's on this board alone who went to college and eventually becaming a SAHM.

I enjoyed my time in college and now I love being a mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:49am
VERY nice post!!!

I didn't realize that so many people considered "broadening ones horizons to be meeting people from different backgrounds, countries, religions. If that is the case, I have done all that through my everyday life, and didn't need college for it. See, I grew up in a little suburb just outside OKC and next to an AF base where ALL KINDS of people came to live. We had decent schools, where as OKC didn't, so many of the AF people who couldn't find housing (not alot available here, but they are now building more) came to our community to live. In my school, we had all kinds of religions, and it was expecially eye-opening, for me, to see people within Christianity beliefs who were of different denominations. Coming from a Church of Christ background, my closest friends came from Methodist background (her step-father a pastor, her mother ran a church outreach program), Southern Baptist (and I actually attended quite alot with this friend, and attended camps with her), Catholic, and Lutheran. Granted, they were all Christians, but learning about the different "varieties", if you will, was quite interesting.

Further, there were many people in my school who were gay. Heck, the year after graduation, I found out my best friend is/was. Which has been an on-going and "broadening" experience. In the 3 years of high school, I had no less than 8 friends, all from different countries who were foriegn exchange students. They learned alot about our country and state and community, but we learned an AMAZING amount about them. These aren't people I just walked past in the halls. These are people I got to know, invited over (well, not to my house b/c my parents were nuts, but to my best friends house) for sleepovers, double dated to the prom with a girl from Germany, etc.

Since I got married at ONLY 18 (my God, better string me up now for THAT sin), and had kids at 19 and 21 (again...HORRIBLE sin!!!), you would think my life was over from listening to people here, because how could I POSSIBLE broaden myself. I mean I didn't ever live "on my own". I never had to "support myself". I still live in the same state, around the same city I grew up in, almost 8 years later!!! But guess what? My husband is military. Alot of our friends have been military, and have come from ALL OVER the country. Some from outside the country. I have gotten to witness (first hand) the interaction between husbands and wives from other cultures, or even between husbands and wives from different cultures from one another. ALL different religions have been around me, all different beliefs and backgrounds. All different ways of raising children and supporting families, etc.

Further, I have had the "broadening" experience of having a disabled husband, which is a HUGELY awakening experience. I have had to take on the finances for our family, raising my children (and yes, while sometimes working), taking care of a bed riden husband (at times), all by myself. I had to make decisions for our family from about 20-23 by myself with no one to help me because of all the medications my husband was on, he STILL doesn't remember most of 3-4 years, not to mention he wasn't always home. For 2 years, he spent 1-3 weeks EVERY month out of state, me home alone with two kids. 2 weeks before delivery of DS, I was left home alone with DD (then 18 months) while he went out of state the first time for a week. A week after delivery of DS (a c-section), I was left home alone with DD (still 18 months) and infant DS while hubby left for 2 weeks to have HIS first surgery. When he came home is when I became the sole caretaker for our family.

But hey, I didn't go to college, so NONE of that is a "broadening" of my horizons. I'm always going to be "closed-off" from the world, and never really "get" other people. ICK ICK ICK!!! VERY sad people think that way!

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 9:59am
I am very sorry for your husband's disability and the hardship you have had to endure.

However, your last paragraph of your post was very nasty. This was totally unecessary.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 10:38am
Everybody has to live their own life, their own way, and raise their children as they see fit. The minimum expectation that I have for my children is to graduate with a B.S. After that, they can do whatever they want. If there is something else they want to do, it will still be there when they are 22.

Education has always been a priority in our family and that's just the way it is. Between us, DH and I have graduated from 5 different colleges, so it's not like we're inexperienced in that arena. And our kids will be the 3rd generation of my family, and the 4th of DH's, to graduate from college, so they are simply expected to go.

No offense taken. Maybe the difference is that I don't see guilt as necessarily a bad thing. If they would feel guilty because they didn't go to college, and that somehow motivates them to go, I'm fine with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 11:27am
I don't know if this is relevant, but I went to college right out of HS, and because of some medical reasons and such had to leave after 1.5 years. I went back to school after getting married and having my son, and I got a LOT more from it being older. I found I was a lot more interested and able to retain the information better, and being more mature made me appreciate what I was doing more. Somehow, going right out of high school made it seem more like a vacation, and I think having a gap year should be more acceptable here as it is in other countries. Having that time in between 13 years of school I felt was beneficial to my whole education. Never thought that getting sick would be a good thing... But my grades were dismal right out of high school, but after I went back, I had a consistant 4.0. I don't know if it was having the time in between or having the responsibility of a family that made it better, but it was one of the two!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 1:10pm
ITA. My mother, her sister and all of their female cousins got college educations in the late 50s and early 60s. No way in heck my kids will not get college educations.

You don't know anywhere near enough about how absolutely vitally important a college education is when you are 18 years old. I will play my "mother guilt" card if necessary: it is a make or break issue for me. Perhaps it's because I fully expect them to get graduate degrees also, so if they want to switch fields or follow a different dream at 22 than at 18, great.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 1:24pm
Probably the only thing I feel guilty about in my own life is that it's so easy, compared to the lives my grandmothers lived. My parents and all my aunts and uncles (10 people total) were put through college by their widowed mothers who only graduated HS, because those two women knew what not have options meant.

I have one brother who still says he only went to college because our mom made him. He's an engineer now, married to a nurse he met at college, and they live on a farm paid for by their jobs. Even he now acknowledges that Mom was right.

I have a cousin who wanted to be a chef. His mother paid for his college education and then she paid for culinary school, because that's the deal they made. Even he acknowledges that he's better off with an education than without one.

I've never heard anyone say they regret going to college, but I've heard plenty of people say they're sorry they didn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 2:30pm
I posted this once already, but my darned computer screwed up and I tried to go back to my post, and it was gone. :( I'll try again.

I went to dictionary.com and got these definitions. I am copying and pasting ALL the definitions for these words.

____________________

ed·u·cat·ed adj.

1. Having an education, especially one above the average.

2.

a) Showing evidence of schooling, training, or experience.

b) Having or exhibiting cultivation; cultured: an educated manner.

3. Based on a certain amount of experience or factual knowledge: an educated guess.

______________________

As shown in definition #2 here, being educated can come from schooling, training or experience...it doesn't just have to come from college. Sure, that is a great way to become educated, but it is not for everyone. I became educated in the field I was in all by on the job experience and self-education. My husband has educated himself through self-education as well as on the job training, and experience. Someone else might have gone the route of college to educate themselves which is great for them, but not necessarily for everyone.

_______________________

ed·u·ca·tion n.

1. The act or process of educating or being educated.

2. The knowledge or skill obtained or developed by a learning process.

3. A program of instruction of a specified kind or level: driver education; a college education.

4. The field of study that is concerned with the pedagogy of teaching and learning.

5. An instructive or enlightening experience: Her work in the inner city was a real education.

_____________________

In definition #2 here, it states that education is knowledge or a skill obtained or developed through a learning process. There are MANY different learning processes, and different people learn more through different ones. For my husband, he does better with anything hands on (on the job type training) and self-education than he would EVER do with college. For me, I do much better with self-education that I do in a school enviornment.

People are just different. We all learn differently. But just because someone didn't choose the route YOU would pick for them (college) doesn't make them uneducated!

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 2:32pm
no more unnecessary than calling people uneducated or insinuating that they give nothing to the world because they didn't go to college.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

Pages