Can you believe this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Can you believe this?
6
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:56am
I hope this is a rare thing. My mom teaches Junior High Algebra in an upper-middle class neighborhood in LAUSD. (Los Angeles) When a student is having a hard time, they have a parent conference with 3 of the childs teachers, the parents, and the principal or vice princ. She had one recently... a boy who was fairly bright, but behaved very badly in the classroom and refused to do his homework. I'm not sure how the conversation went, but somehow the topic of teaching the child manners came up. The father told my mom that it's her job. After all (exact words here) "you see him more than we do." She thought "Hmmm... one child in a class of 35 for 55 minutes a day... and I see him more?" This just scares me. I know it can't be the norm.. at least I hope it's not.. she says that down there it seems to be the norm. Then again.. it's LA, and it's like a bubble of weirdness. Does anyone experience this type of thing in your respective parts of the world? How prevalent is it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:00am
Is what the norm? Parents who don't understand what teachers do, or parents who don't see their children more than 50 minutes a day?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:04am
The whole parents-blaming-the-schools thing is hardly new. In some form or another, schools are expected to teach kids manners, responsibility, problem-solving, social skills, etc., along with academics.

I'd imagine the father was comparing the 6 or 7 hours each weekday that the child spends in school against whatever hours the father and son are home together in the evenings, which is faulty logic. Over the course of his lifetime, that kid is going to spend a lot more time with his family than in school, especially with any one teacher.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:10am
Haha... I was thinking more along the lines of parents who don't see their kids more than 50 minutes a day. I'm sure there's plenty who don't know what teachers do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 10:44am
I personally have always believe that its NOT a teacher's job to teach morals, values, manners, etc. They should *enforce* those things and encourage them and set a positive example, but its the parents job to instill those initially in the child. Its the teacher's job to *educate* the child, not raise it. My dd's school teaches "character education" and its great, but I don't *expect* them to do it.

That said, I haven't seen that attitude, but dd's school is a non-traditional one.Also, even though dh and I WOHFT, and he travels extensively, we still see dd more than her teacher.

Incidentally, her teacher has a great way to keep up communication with the parents, and it helps to stop problems BEFORE we need to go in and have that dreaded conference. Every day (well, most days, somtimes she gets too busy) she writes a line or two in a journal for each child. The parent is required to sign it and return it the next day. In effect, we have DAILY communication with the teacher, even if we don't physically see the teacher. Sometimes the note will simply say "Great day." Other times it might say "Savannah made some very good decisions today and acted very maturely." Other times it might say "Savannah is having some trouble keeping quiet while I am talking. Please talk with her about it."

Dd has a wonderful teacher.

Hollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:33pm
all i have to say is, your mom is one brave woman. i wouldnt be caught dead sweeping the floors in a jr high, much less trying to teach them. hormones do ugly things. my ds1 didnt think manners were necessary when he was 13yo and had better ones when he was 2yo. i wouldnt blame that one on the parents or the teachers(which is totally rediculous). jr high is like working at a zoo, in general. the girls are caddy and the boys are totally obnoxious, which adds up to a school full of jerks, to be polite.

this is IN GENERAL, all you lurkers who want to jump on me and tell my your child isnt like that, i have a little fairy princess, too!!LOL

give your mom kudos!! she has my respect, i think........


um, sweeping the floors, dead?? what does that mean???LOLOLOLO

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 8:55am
That is so pathetic ... the man is chauvanistic, a biggot, and just plain passing the buck in MHO.

I have run into this type twice in 12 years of doing child care. Both times it was fathers ... what were they getting for their hard earned money from me? When was their child going to be compliant? "Why did their kid play so much? Shup.

Shaking my head ... that is just so pathetic.

Linda

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