career or another baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
career or another baby?
11
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 10:11am

Hi, I hope this is the right board to post this question, I am new & happy to see most SAHM & WOHM respect each others choices. How could we judge each other we all know that staying home & working out of the home are both difficult in different ways? In fact many of us have done both.

I had a great job & gave it up to stay home because I had too, the commute was too long & there were too many daycare issues, but it broke my heart to leave. I love being home with my kids now but miss my job & doubt I'll get that position back unless I go back in the next year or 2 which is possible since my daughter will be in 1st grade soon.

It is so hard to decide! To choose a career or another baby! When you are older & look back which would you regret more, sacrificing your career, or not having another baby? Kids are so wonderful, but having a career is very fulfilling too! But maybe I'm wrong, maybe I could be out of the workforce for 10 years & reenter in my late 40s, and not have to start from the beginning again?

any advice would help, thanks so much!
g




Edited 1/29/2008 10:23 am ET by gisela_73

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 10:26am

Would you be willing to do both?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 01-25-2008 - 11:02am

For me, it's not either/or. It's two questions which intersect at certain points. Not much different than children intersectiong with any other decision that a family makes. Careers aren't set in stone. My mom was a sahm until my brother was in high school. Then she went to our local community college and went to work. My dad has had at least 3 careers in his adult life. My fil went back to college when dh was in high school and got his law degree. My sister is working on her second career. My aunt has had 2 careers. Dh is on his 2nd career. You (both of you?) want another child. I say go for it if that's what the both of you decide. And while you are a sahm, you can investigate new careers/jobs. Get the training/education for that new career and enter it when the baby starts school. Or sooner, if that's what you decide. Or never. The choice is up to you (in conjunction with your dh). How does your dh feel about him taking those 6 years (or part of them) to be a sahd?

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 7:46am

Thank you both that is very good advice - maybe I need to stop thinking so much in black & white...like if I have another baby then I can't ever go back to work or vice versa. It is very reassuring Chris to hear about your family & how many switched careers & went back to the workforce later or once the kids were grown, it makes me realize I really have many options as far as work goes, but regarding having another baby the window really is closing & my biological clock is going crazy & if I don't do it now I might regret it forever.

thank so much!
g

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Sat, 01-26-2008 - 8:57pm
As a 37 year old who waited until she was nearly 36 to have her first child, I can only tell you what I am feeling.
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P
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 2:42pm

I would have another baby. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 10:40am

"...Anyway, I figure that what's really going to change career wise in 6 years."


It depends on your field.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 2:49am
Good point.
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P
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 9:49am

I totally relate, I feel such a NEED to have another...life has finally gotten so much easier and I think I must be nuts cuz we all know how hard a baby is, being up all nite & diapers & crying...and don't forget the costs! But something biological happens to us & nothing else matters...it is almost like a physical pain. My husband is also worried about finances but sees there is a time limit, but don't worry cali you still have a few years left my old boss had a beautiful baby at 41...

But bottom line its so true when I'm old I doubt I'm going to look back & wish I had worked more or devoted my life to a particular company instead of having another child! good point...

thanks for the support!

Edited 1/29/2008 10:21 am ET by gisela_73




Edited 1/29/2008 10:24 am ET by gisela_73
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 11:29am

I think if I was in your position, I would try to decide first whether I wanted another baby or not, independent of the decision to work or not.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 02-11-2008 - 11:43am

My boss at the bridal shop will be 77 (or is it 78, I forget) this year and has been talking about retiring for the last 10 years. My dad finally "retired" about 5 years ago. He now is the resident handiman at my sister's daycare and still works on RVs of customers from his RV business that he sold when he retired. He's 79. If my fil had lived, I have no doubt that he also would still be working as a lawyer at 79.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

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