change from working to SAH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
change from working to SAH!
73
Tue, 11-08-2011 - 2:32am

In my previous (6 yr)

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 9:00am

Well said. Besides, many women have careers that they value and that need to be maintained to remain viable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 8:54am

You are absolutely right. These days not many people have that option, both parents have to work. But when a family can afford for one partner to stay at home, they seemed to be judged. I was told one time I am a gold digger because I am not working. I do not think that is fair. It's not like I never worked in my life, I have a university degree, I have done plently of volunteering, owned my own business, raised my own brother (homeschooled him as well), I had a job where I worked min 10 hour days but for some people all of that goes out the door now that I decided not to have a full time job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 8:29am
(I don't know why my post published without spaces in between paragraphs. Ugh.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 8:27am
I am sorry to hear about what you went through with your son. I cannot imagine. That being said, the reality is that women don't work to buy swimming pools or take vacations or buy nice cars. Women work to help financially take care of their children. The reality is that very few households can survive on a single income to cover the basics, such as health insurance, healthy food, and a stable living arrangement. Another reality to consider is the rate of divorce and the financial effect that it has on children. And yet another one to consider is that women are the winners in our economy right now; our traditional health care workers, educators, and service sector jobs are more stable than the heavy lifting type jobs that men traditionally take. If you consider the trend of companies downsizing to become leaner and sloughing off long-time, higher-paid employees in favor of cheaper, entry-level people, the idea of relying on a single income stream looks a little more bleak. If you're fortunate enough to be continuously employed, those entry-level positions don't come with all of those "perks" like health insurance or life insurance either, so that's a little more out of the tiny paycheck to raise a family on. It sounds as though you loved being a nurse and for that I consider you extremely fortunate. You have a career that is in demand and that pays a living wage, that is flexible and offers several different kinds of paths. In other words, you have options; the reality is, you won't be living under a bridge with your child. Not all careers offer this kind of work environment. Not everyone can just slide back in to their careers after taking time off, and that is something that mothers must consider before making the choice to stay at home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 7:48am
You know, if my child were really ill and dying I think I would feel cheated of the future, not of the past. The kids had a great childhood, plenty of good memories, partly because of the fact that both of us worked.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 5:09am
I did not get that from her post at all, we are probably reading into it from different perspectives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 4:47am
You didn't say that , but the poster to whom I responded certainly said it--as if the only possible reason a family might have two working adults is because we put money ahead of our kids. Or that we can't possibly understand the importance of our children because she just assumes none of us have ever had a child with major medical problems. Those are huge assumptions to make, and really unfair ones. No one in this thread has been the least critical nor dismissive of your life choice. And yet, she found it necessary to drop that load here, in a group she clearly knows nothing about, posting as if she's got all this experience that we shold value and respect, yet her entire post is disrespectful of any choice that doesn't match hers.

I don't see any reason to pretend her presumptive and offensive post was anything other than presumptive and offensive.

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 4:33am

I think she was referring to me as the one who does not have a child yet because I do not. I also think that maybe you misundersttod what is being said. No one is saying that money is not important, it is what it is. What we are saying is sometimes people get so caught up in making money that they do not realize they are missing out on some other important things in life. Yes you can have nice cars, nice house, beautiful vacations but I do not think that purpose of my life is to have those things. So what I am saying is YES money is important but it should not be a main focus of the family.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 4:27am

I am very sorry for what your son has had to go through and wish him a full and lasting remission.

At the same time, I have to say that especially in times of medical crisis, and we have had some, I am very grateful for having some level of financial security and knowing that I have the means to obtain good health care for my child and for us so we can continue to parent her.

As for the rest, what matters to me is to be a good parent and that my child can trust me and rely on me. My daughter is in college now, and I know that she is very thankful that we can pay her way, for example, but she also sends one of us a text the minute she finds out that she got a good grade. She knows that we are there for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 11-11-2011 - 3:33am
<< I just wanted to address some out there that think this post is beneath us now.

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

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