Change Up

Since I am more of a "whatever works". I'll give both sides.

I think the Msah side has a point when they say young children need to have quantity time with a parent. For one, I think it goes for both parents. How much that time is really depends on the individual child. I think the amount of time needed diminishes as the child ages, with an uptick during the "puberty" years. In fact, it was one of the reasons I quit to sah- so both DH and I could have more time with each of our children. Initially, DH took a less demanding and more secure job and I negotiated a part time arrangement. We saw a problem when DH was out of the house more than 60 hours per week and I was out of the house 45-50 hours per week. This was doable, but not great, with one child. Having a second child increased the number of hours we needed with our children. It was balanced when DH was out of the house 50 hours per week and I was out of the house 30 hours per week. If other more unusual issues hadn't developed, we would probably still be in this scenario - and loving it. YMMV.

The main "issue" I agree with on the Mwoh side is that my ability to earn a decent salary has diminished significantly during the time I have quit. I am at risk of DH (or me) having a personality change that results in the big D. To mitigate this, I have kept up with contacts in my old industry. I have also developed some new skills. No guarantee I would be able to find a job, but our area has historically low unemployment and I think I would be able to find something within a year. With half the equity in our house, I would be able to afford a two bedroom condo in the boys' current school district and I would be able to live on half of our retirement savings. It wouldn't be as fun, but it would be doable.