Changes in status

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Changes in status
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 12:58am
Well, ladies, it looks like my family is about to completely change in status from where it has been in the past, with DH WOHFT (and then some, thanks to the military), and me SAH/WAH and now WOHPT.

We got notice just this past week that DH will be processed out of the military, effective August 15th. This means we are going to lose health insurance (well, I will, DH and the kids will retain medicare), most of his pay, and the security the military provides.

So...I will finally be returning to work FT. I will be the parent who is WOHFT, in our family, while DH will be the SAHP.

For the past 4 or so days, this is basically all I have been able to think about, for obvious reasons. In the process, I was left curious about something. For all of those here who are adament that a SAHP is basically SAH because they don't want to work (regardless of how many times they insist they jointly decided, with their spouse, upon having a SAHP FOR their children) and/or that a SAHP is "unequal" to their WOHP spouse:

How do you reconcile a situation, like mine, where a SAHP and a WOHP switch roles after a time, with the same "expectations", "responsibilities", and job descriptions staying the same, with your beliefs that a SAHP either doesn't "want" to work or that they are unequal?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-17-2003 - 3:00am
You know, dh and I actually kind of plan to do this later on, so thats another reason I find it hard to comprehend the mindset of being *equal*. Its so silly to me!

Once I get my degree and (hopefully) get established in a career, dh will most likely reduce his hours and be home with the children for much of the time. We've always figured we'd *flip it* later on. Who knows how it will work out, but we are very open to the idea.



"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~