Childhood experiences and adult choices
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|Sun, 04-06-2003 - 9:19am|
I see it in my DH's family. He was a child of divorce with a dead beat father, much of his childhood he lived on welfare.
The way it has effected his older sister is she has always worked she has either been the primary support of her family or at least equal. What she learned from her childhood was not to depend on a man, be able to depend on yourself.
The way it has effected my DH and his brother is they take a lot of pride in supporting their families, in both cases they have not always been the only support but they have been the primary one and it means a lot to them. A few months ago I said to my DH that for the first time I felt like I had to work, in the past I always felt that if I wanted to stay home then I could but because of circumstances I no longer felt that. He had a look of hurt in his eyes, he felt a lot of pride in knowing that he could completely support his family and it hurt to not feel that. Another way it has effected the males is they take marriage and fatherhood very seriously, they know what it is like to grow up without a father and they never want their children to experience that.
I grew up in the "typical" household of the time, my dad worked and my mom was at home (although she did return to work after I was out of the household when my younger sister was in middle school), they were married until my mom died. My dad is similiar to my DH in that he also grew up dirt poor and always has had pride on supporting his family. How my view is different from my SIL's because of our different backgrounds is I have never felt the need to work "in case". I can very easily believe that my DH will never abandon his family because of what I greew up with.