Choose To verses Have To

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Choose To verses Have To
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Wed, 04-14-2010 - 9:00am

Where is that line? Is there a line? What determines it?

I have been trying to figure out if I am a "choose to" or "have to" sahp. If one only looks at finances, I am definitely a "choose to" sahp. However, IF I had my druthers, I would be a wohp. My family's "unique" circumstances make it easy for our whole family to have a sahp and a wohp. We have weighed the pluses and minuses and sah comes out first- it isn't really close. If it were close, I would be a wohp. So, I feel like a "Have To" sahp.

If we look at the finances, DH is a "Have To" wohp if we have a sahp. However, when we made the decision to have me first work part time and then, later, quit. We talked about *both* of us working reduced hours (30 or so). He did quit a very demanding job at a start up and went to a *relatively less demanding job at a medium sized company. So, weighing his feelings, he is a "Choose To" wohp.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 6:48pm

She is doing excellent this month. Thank you for asking :)


              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:38pm
I guess I missed that we were talking about a particular nanny. Sorry.

"It is said that men may not be the dreams of the Gods, but rather that the Gods are the dreams of men."


-Carl Sagan

"It is said that men may not be the dreams of the Gods, but rather that the Gods are the dreams of men."


-Carl S

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 12:17am

I havent read or posted here in ...wow.....3 years or more? Anyway.....I am a choose to wohp. My husband is a sahp. We decided it made more sense financially for me to work outside the home and for him to be the SAHP. It was important to us to have one of us at home. We were indifferent as to who, outside of who made the most money. And that was me by about a factor of 8-10x.


We have three children......twins who are finishing up 1st grade and a 2 year old. Its been tough at times, but its tough on SAHP's at times too. All up we are both very happy, our kids are doing great, and we have zero financial worries which helps alott too!


So for us the "line" was what is optimal for our family. And for us, that was/ is me working.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 3:54am
Wow! Talk about a blast from the past! How have you all been? (I was Puss_bouquet back then--I've changed a bit since then ;)

************

Kitty

"Adultery isn't a mistake. It is a choice to give your loins greater importance than your dignity." --From the Awesome Files of B

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Kitty

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-29-2010 - 10:21pm
Been great, thanks:) Totally forgot about these boards. Been very busy! Had another child in fact! How have you

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