A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 12:35pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">&lt;&lt;No, you kept saying you were sorry I wasn't even after I asked what you consider being close. You did say you would know about your sibling remodeling a room because you were close. Even if I did say I WAS close, why would I need to know about what is going on in her home?&gt;</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yes, that's right...you couldn't answer if you were close to your sibling or not, so I offered my sympathies.  I never said you needed anything, so I can't answer a question about something I didn't say.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>I couldn't answer because I asked you what you considered close and you would not give me your definition. </strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p>

Why do you need my definition to know if you are close with your sibling or not?    You don't know?

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 12-22-2013

Why do you need my definition to know if you are close with your sibling or not?    You don't know?

I would like to know your definition as you don't feel we are close because I did not know about the washer/dryer thing. What would you consider being close with a sibling? How much of their lives would you need to know to be considered close?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-17-2014 - 12:54pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why do you need my definition to know if you are close with your sibling or not?    You don't know?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I would like to know your definition as you don't feel we are close because I did not know about the washer/dryer thing. What would you consider being close with a sibling? How much of their lives would you need to know to be considered close?</span></strong></p>

I already told you earlier in the thread, I am close to my family because I would know that they are doing a remodeling project such as this and then I wouldn't hesitate to allow them to use my washer/dryer.  I consider myself medium close with my sibling, I'm not going to give you details of my siblings life to prove it to you, nor did I say (again!) that "need" was ever mentioned.  

So will you finally answer the question, are you close with your sibling?  Or would you like to provide more questions instead of simply answering the question asked of you?  What tangent is next?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

So will you finally answer the question, are you close with your sibling?  

Yes but not to the point that we tell each other everything that is going on in our lives. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 5:44pm

I can't live in a messy house. It has to be spacious and clean. I don't want clutter or junk. I go crazy and can't find anything when my house is cluttered.

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