A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2013
Thu, 01-09-2014 - 12:26pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I don't want to be "always cleaning something", I want to be doing other things than cleaning.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I'm not but when I pass by something and it looks like something needs to be put away or cleaned, it takes a few seconds to do it. This is not a deep cleaning session that will take hours and I don't have time for anything else in the day. A quick wipe down of a dirty counter takes a few seconds. A quick run of the vacuum, a quick putting away a pair of shoes, throwing clothes in the hamper. None of those things take very long and affect anything else I want to do in life.</span></p>

I keep a clean house too...but b/c it's larger, a few things do take a little more time, such as vacuuming...there is no such thing as a "quick run of the vacuum"...but the other stuff that you mention, I don't understand.  Why would you walk by and see that shoes need to be put away, clothes in the hamper or wiping down a dirty counter.... wouldn't those things be done at the time of use?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

I keep a clean house too...but b/c it's larger, a few things do take a little more time, such as vacuuming...there is no such thing as a "quick run of the vacuum"...

Yeah, I can see that with a larger home. That is the advantage of a smaller home. 

but the other stuff that you mention, I don't understand.  Why would you walk by and see that shoes need to be put away, clothes in the hamper or wiping down a dirty counter.... wouldn't those things be done at the time of use?

You would think so. Not everyone is as clean as everyone else is (or as anal about some things lol), my family included. lol

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 01-09-2014 - 2:34pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I allow low income people to use my laundry facilities because I believe in helping out the working poor. Laundromats are expensive.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Oh ok. I don't know how much they cost. The last time I really used one for a lot of things was about 20 years ago and it was about $2/week.</span></strong></p>

Even 20 years ago it was at least 50 cents a load for each (wash/dry).  So $2 would be two loads a week .. I had more loads than that when I was single and in college.

Now it is up to $1 or more per load.  I"d do the same as Bord if anyone I knew had the need.  I used to let my brothers use mine when they were in college. One year for Christmas, my brother bought me the biggest box of laundry detergent I've ever seen adn wrapped and put it under the tree, lol.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Even 20 years ago it was at least 50 cents a load for each (wash/dry).  So $2 would be two loads a week .. I had more loads than that when I was single and in college.

lol. That was for my dh and I when we first got married. I remember that because we even put it in our budget lol.

Now it is up to $1 or more per load.  I"d do the same as Bord if anyone I knew had the need.  I used to let my brothers use mine when they were in college. One year for Christmas, my brother bought me the biggest box of laundry detergent I've ever seen adn wrapped and put it under the tree, lol

lol. No one has ever asked to do their laundry at my house. Even my sister who was just getting her laundry room re-done went to the laundromat. She was more than welcome to come and do it but I guess it never crossed her mind.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
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Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 10:29am
Now we're Mother Teresa.. Who knew..... smh

 

 

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 10:37am

How come you just can't play nice, Jamblessed?  Why do you have to direct snide comments at me all the time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 10:40am
One of the people that uses my washer works with one of those Extreme Couponers. A few times a year she will show up with a bottle of Tide that she says she got for something like 75 cents, and she'll give it to me for a present.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 10:44am

One of the people that uses my washer works with one of those Extreme Couponers. A few times a year she will show up with a bottle of Tide that she says she got for something like 75 cents, and she'll give it to me for a present.

Do you charge these people for using your washer/dryer? I guess it just seems odd to Jams that you mention this now as you have said in the past your dh is very frugal. It is hard to believe that someone like that would allow others to use your facilities. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:01am
No, I don't charge anyone for using our washer and dryer. We are frugal in that we don't waste much and we don't buy things we don't want or need, but we also believe in giving back. Like most people, we budget for charitable donations.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:11am

No, I don't charge anyone for using our washer and dryer. We are frugal in that we don't waste much and we don't buy things we don't want or need, but we also believe in giving back. Like most people, we budget for charitable donations.

Most? I think you should say many. I don't think most people budget for charitable donations. Do the people you help budget for them? Is that why they can't afford to use a laundromat?

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