A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:49pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why did you want to know if I was?</span></strong></p>

Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:49pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Video games can be bad for kids</strong>, it is a video game.  Xbox connect is a video game and again, and we aren't talking about adults, we are talking about kids.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">ITA with this statement. If you would stop and listen and read my comments, you will see what I am explaining is NOT a video game in which you sit and just play a game. You are very active, to the point it is the same as throwing in an exercise video. </span></strong></p>

I have read them and addressed them, read them already.  Again, I never said that it was a sit and play video game, stop making things up and read what is written already.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:45pm

<<No, I know she understood. She basically said the same thing to me but you felt the need to continue on with me and ask why and you did not with her. Why is that? Why don't you ask her the same thing you asked me? I never said I clean all the time. I said that I like a clean home and an uncluttered one, just like Queen. It relaxes me also which I am pretty sure I did say and you still asked me.>>

Yes, you did say you clean all the time, I quoted it for you before.  You said that you are always cleaning something in your post on the very first page.  

Again, I didn't make my same comments to Queen because again, she has shown that she can read, comprehend and retain the information from post to post.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:44pm
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. </span></strong></p>

That is simply untrue.

Would you like me to name a few?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:44pm

Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.

and AGAIN, I am not MAKING multiple meals. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:43pm

I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.

Why did you want to know if I was?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:43pm

Video games can be bad for kids, it is a video game.  Xbox connect is a video game and again, and we aren't talking about adults, we are talking about kids.  

ITA with this statement. If you would stop and listen and read my comments, you will see what I am explaining is NOT a video game in which you sit and just play a game. You are very active, to the point it is the same as throwing in an exercise video. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:42pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. </span></strong></p>

That is simply untrue.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:42pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about...</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I didn't say "making multiple meals". Sometimes someone brings something home from work or school, etc. No one said anyone was making multiple meals. Sometimes we cook for the kids and we go out, sometimes we cook for the kids and get something on the outside. </span></strong></p>

Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.

 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:41pm

Actually no, I asked you why you were cleaning all the time, since those were the words that you used.  I then went on to explain how having a house with no clutter isn't one of my goals in life.  I didn't fill the need to repeat my comments to Queen because she has shown that she is quite capable of reading, comprehending and retaining information from post to post.  

Are you claiming that she didn't understand my comments?

No, I know she understood. She basically said the same thing to me but you felt the need to continue on with me and ask why and you did not with her. Why is that? Why don't you ask her the same thing you asked me? I never said I clean all the time. I said that I like a clean home and an uncluttered one, just like Queen. It relaxes me also which I am pretty sure I did say and you still asked me.

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