A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 12:02pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">It sounds like your closet isn't very organized, that is one place that I am super organzied.  I even group like colors together, in the proper color order of course, lol. </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Nope, it is very organized. Even my shoes have separate places for separate things. </span></span></strong></p>

If items are getting wrinkled, it doesn't sound very organized to me.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

"You can deduct things from your taxes at tax time and it still does not impact your monthly budget." How could it not have an effect on your budget if it changes your income?

How does donating things (not money) change your income on a monthly basis? How would that be included on a monthly budget?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Yea, actually you did...you said that you were always cleaning something, you have said it was important, so much so that you can't relax and watch tv or read a book unless everything is picked up.  If you have such a small house and everyone helps you, how could you spend much time cleaning at all? 

People living in a home will always make it possibly to have to clean or pick things up on a regular basis. I think you are not understanding what type of "cleaning" I speaking of. Seeing dust and wiping down the area. Maybe seeing something on the ground that was missed in the garbage pail. Toothpaste in the sink. Finger prints on the windows or door. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

That's not what frugal means, it means not spending money on things one doesn't need or want, it doesn't mean not helping others.  

fru·gal
ˈfro͞ogəl/
adjective
  1. 1.
    sparing or economical with regard to money or food.
    Frugality is the quality of being frugal, sparing, thrifty, prudent or economical in the use of consumable resources such as food, time or money, 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

<<No but again I have said they don't see the things I see. I will tell them to clean or pick up something that needs to be but if they ARE out of the house, I WILL pick it up or clean it up. I don't just let things sit for hours on end, especially if I have someone coming over to the house. >>

What do you see that they don't?  I would think at your kids ages they would be a bit more responsbile for their items in the public rooms.

Just like Bord said her dh doesn't see well and misses drops of things in the kitchen etc. Some people are more adapt to see things, like something on the floor. 

 <<So you just put things back in different places all the time?>>

Um no.  ??  

So why the implication that you don't think things need to have "homes"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Ummm...yes, I am well aware of people who find clutter not a problem. I even know people who are hoarders so I am well aware of it all. </span></strong></p>

There is a great wide range between clutter and hoarder, why do you seem to always assume the extreme?

Where did I say otherwise?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 1:26pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">"You can deduct things from your taxes at tax time and it still does not impact your monthly budget." How could it not have an effect on your budget if it changes your income?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">How does donating things (not money) change your income on a monthly basis? How would that be included on a monthly budget?</span></strong></p>

If you claim the items on your taxes, it reduces your tax liability and in turn you can adjust your payroll withholding, thus raising your income and impacting the budget on a monthly basis.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

If items are getting wrinkled, it doesn't sound very organized to me.  

I must just have more clothes and shoes than you do. Shrug. Everything is very organized and I am able to find what I need instantly. That doesn't mean there is a lot of room for things. I also have a dresser that is full of things. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 1:28pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Yea, actually you did...you said that you were always cleaning something, you have said it was important, so much so that you can't relax and watch tv or read a book unless everything is picked up.  If you have such a small house and everyone helps you, how could you spend much time cleaning at all? </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">People living in a home will always make it possibly to have to clean or pick things up on a regular basis. I think you are not understanding what type of "cleaning" I speaking of. Seeing dust and wiping down the area. Maybe seeing something on the ground that was missed in the garbage pail. Toothpaste in the sink. Finger prints on the windows or door. </span></strong></p>

Yes, I understand that but if everyone helps and cleans up after themselves, isn't the overall burden lowered?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

If you claim the items on your taxes, it reduces your tax liability and in turn you can adjust your payroll withholding, thus raising your income and impacting the budget on a monthly basis.

Thanks for your input. I have a great CPA though Laughing

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