A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 1:43pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><em>Frugality</em><span style="color:#444444; font-family:arial, sans-serif; font-size:small"> is the quality of being </span><em>frugal</em><span style="color:#444444; font-family:arial, sans-serif; font-size:small">, sparing, thrifty, prudent or economical in the use of consumable resources such as food, time or money.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:small"><strong><span style="color:#444444; font-family:arial, sans-serif; font-size:x-small"><span>If you are frugal with money, then you would not use the extra water and electricity for others that is not needed.</span></span></strong></span></p>

I disagree, what you are talking about is someone being cheap, not frugal.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

<<Just like Bord said her dh doesn't see well and misses drops of things in the kitchen etc. Some people are more adapt to see things, like something on the floor. >>

Yes, he has an eye condition that prevents him from seeing well, that isn't about being more adapt at seeing things.

You do realize that not everyone has an attention to detail and don't see things that they care about (like seeing a crumb on the counter as it might not bother them), correct?

Do you think your kids are at the ages where they should be responbile for cleaning up after themselves?  Of course, within reason and sometimes with parental help.

Yes, and? That does not mean their idea of cleaning is the same of mine and this is my home so when I was a kid, it was a lot different than owing my own home and taking care of it the same way.

<<So why the implication that you don't think things need to have "homes"?<<

I didn't make that implication.

"I don't need to have every single thing in my house in a home place in order to find things, it's not really that complicated."

Sounds like you made that implication.

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 1:57pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">It is true that if you just give things away and don't deduct them from your taxes, it won't have an impact on your budget.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You can deduct things from your taxes at tax time and it still does not impact your monthly budget. </span></p>

Not when you have the occasional "fifth/extra" paycheck and/or a company bonus.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 1:59pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">What does being frugal have to do with helping others? </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Using a washer/dryer uses water and electricity. If you are frugal and try to keep your bills down, letting 3 other people outside of your home use your washer/dryer can allow your bill to increase.</span></strong></p>

Frugal isn't about spending the least amount of money possible, imo. It's about not *wasting* money.  And if someone you know/love/care about is benefitting from you having a slightly higher water bill, then the money isn't wasted. So this isn't contraindicative to frugal.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Ummm...yes, I am well aware of people who find clutter not a problem. I even know people who are hoarders so I am well aware of it all. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">There is a great wide range between clutter and hoarder, why do you seem to always assume the extreme?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Where did I say otherwise?</span></strong></p>

In the comments that I quoted, see your post and above.

Nope. 

"yes, I am well aware of people who find clutter not a problem. I even know people who are hoarders so I am well aware of it all."

I never said there was NOT a wide range between them both. I said I know BOTH type of people. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 2:00pm
Your inference is not her implication. I inferred that things had homes, they just weren't necessarily in them 100% of the time. My house is like that. I look around in my den and I see three or four things that could be put away, and next time I head in that direction, I will.
Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 2:01pm

pumpkinangel wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;We do as well, but even our little closets hold a great number of shirts/pants/etc and since they are put away neatly, no wrinkles. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:x-small"&gt;&lt;span&gt;There is no room inbetween my pants, at all. Many of them have 2 pairs per hanger as there is not enough room even for a thin hanger. lol. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>It sounds like your closet isn't very organized, that is one place that I am super organzied.  I even group like colors together, in the proper color order of course, lol. </p>

I don't do colors together, but I do type.  All my dresses, then my skirts, then my pants, then my special occaision stuff on one rod.  My jackets, then sweaters, then long-sleeve work shirts on one rod.  Then long-sleeve casual, short -sleeved casual, short-sleeved work, and then tanks/camis on one rod.   etc, etc.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 2:01pm
We don't consider any of our income "extra." It's all just "income."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

DH and I consider sharing our blessings to be a prudent use of our income and possessions. To me, someone with plenty to spare who would resent the little bit of water and electricity someone uses doing a couple loads of laundry a week is not frugal, but cheap. I think frugality is a virtue, but there is nothing attractive about a cheapskate.

So your dh is NOT cheap as you have said in the past? Why are you changing your tune now that it is working against you?

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 2:02pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
So you just put things back in different places all the time?</strong></p>

Sometimes.  If I'm done reading my Kindle, I might put it on my nightstand (it's there more often than anywhere else, as I read at night), or I might put it on the bed (if I was going to read again very soon), or in my purse (If I planned to take it with me), etc.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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