A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:21am

I've seen statistics that show that about 85% of Smetican households participate in charitable giving. Eight out of ten seems like "most" to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:30am

I've seen statistics that show that about 85% of Smetican households participate in charitable giving. Eight out of ten seems like "most" to me.

You said they "budget" that. I can easily give clothes and other things to charity and fall into that 85% and not have it in my monthly budget.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:34am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Those were your words, not mine.  I tend to put my things away, mostly and I expect other people in the family to do the same, I don't believe it is my job only to keep the house clean.  <strong>I expect everyone, including my children to do their part in putting things away and cleaning up after themselves. </strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>I never said otherwise but if no one is around, I don't just let things sit around. I detest clutter and things not in their "home". An organized, clean, put together home calms me more than sitting around with stuff all over. That is just me though. I know some people can sit around with clutter all around them, things not 100% clean, etc. Saying it makes you have a wasted life is ridiculous, IMO.</strong></span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></p>

If no one is around, why would things get messed up, if everyone cleans up after themselves?  If "I" spent all of my time cleaning/pickup and so forth in order to have a totally clean organized clean home, I would think it was a waste of "my" time, I can't think why I would want to spend that much of my time worrying about where things are in my house.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:34am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">So you aren't always cleaning something, saying so was more of tongue in cheeck or an exaggeration?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Not in the sense that it takes more than a few seconds or minutes. Nothing that I couldn't do something else either at the same time or as soon as I am done. I couldn't just sit and read a book or watch TV, etc. if there was clutter all around me or something that truly needed to be cleaned. </span></span></strong></p>

Why can't you relax if things are out of place in your home?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:36am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I'm confused, if you put it away neatly, how would it get wrinkled once put away?</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>We have small(er) closets that are full so they things get wrinkled right away if they are ironed before putting them away.</span></span></p>

We do as well, but even our little closets hold a great number of shirts/pants/etc and since they are put away neatly, no wrinkles. 

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:36am
It is true that if you just give things away and don't deduct them from your taxes, it won't have an impact on your budget.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:37am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">One of my daily chores this time of year is that the dogs track in mud and snow that melts on the kitchen floor and I end up mopping the kitchen every single night. We have a largish kitchen; it ends up taking twenty minutes to get that done. No big deal, except normal clean up, add mopping and a thirty minute job putting away the dinner things and wiping down the tables and counters becomes an almost an hour long job.</span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>No one else helps? If I cook, my dh will put things away and clean up. If he cooks, I will do the same. The kids need to clean their plates and put them either in the sink or dishwasher. </span></span></strong></p>

No one helps you?  I mean you have said you spend a lot of time cleaning/picking up and so forth each day, doesn't anyone help you?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:38am

If no one is around, why would things get messed up, if everyone cleans up after themselves?

They could be out but still made a mess before they left.

 If "I" spent all of my time cleaning/pickup and so forth in order to have a totally clean organized clean home, I would think it was a waste of "my" time, I can't think why I would want to spend that much of my time worrying about where things are in my house.  

It is not worrying about where things are in the house but when you need to go and find them, you can do it in less time if they have a "home" and are put in that "home" each and everytime. To me, a waste of time is trying to find something that was not cleaned up or put away in the first place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:38am

savcal2011 wrote:
<p>My house is never 100% clean. There's probably no single room that is ever 100% clean for more than about 5 minutes.</p>

Mine isn't either, to me...keeping my house 100% clean and picked up 24/7/365 would indicate that I have a wasted life, I can think of so many things/people/etc that are more important than a 100% clean house 24/7/365.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:40am

Why can't you relax if things are out of place in your home?

I like an organized home and I can't sit around a have clutter and messes. Guess that is just the OCD in me. 

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