A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 8:43pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?</span></p><p>We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?</p>

I don't find it odd that people like different things, or that they eat, in general, different things.  In our house, we are all served the same things, although The Boy may skip the sauteed peppers and onions one night, and The Girl may skip the couscous, or I may pull the kids' mexican chowder out before I add the really hot chiles, etc.  But we are all served the same meal.    (note: this is for dinner or family meals ... breakfasts and lunches we're often doing our own thing)

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
    So if you do understand the concept of helping people out, why this tiresome nd ridiculous brouhaha over my laundry room?
    I help people out and understand. I dont understand you helping when you wont tell the entire story. 
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

    Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P

    So again please explain why I would have known my sisters situation and why the question if we were close.

    Avatar for jamblessedthree
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 10-23-2001
    Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:06pm

    DD1 will be 18 before she starts her senior year, DD2 won't turn 18 until June of her senior year and DS will turn 18 in the middle of his senior year.. DD1 has some good friends that are seniors actually b/c they are in some of the same classes..... Honestly, they're all kids to me, Lol. 

     

     

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 01-08-2009
    Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:16pm

    The whole story is that I told some people I know that if they'd like to use my laundry room to save the hassle and expense of going to the laundromat, they were welcome to do so.  And they took me up on the offer.  The end.

    Avatar for jamblessedthree
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 10-23-2001
    Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:29pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span>Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?</span></p><p>We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?</p>

    Portion size matters a lot too, I don't eat a lot of it but DD1 can realy shovel pasta away, DD2 isn't a big fan of Italian food but she'll make up for it in salad, bread and dessert.  DS is a real picky eater.  We all try to eat together most days. 

     

     

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

    Couldn't portion sizes matter too?  I don't eat a lot but DD1 can realy shovel it away, DD2 isn't a big fan of Italian food but she'll make up for it in salad, bread and dessert.  DS is a real picky eater. 

    You would think she would understand that with having 2 growing teen boys. My nephew used to stay over on some weekends and that kid could eat, he definately ate more than I did.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

      The whole story is that I told some people I know that if they'd like to use my laundry room to save the hassle and expense of going to the laundromat, they were welcome to do so.  And they took me up on the offer.  The end.

      Good try. You told me yesterday it was none of my business about the single woman. Sounds like there is a bigger story behind that and one that would make you sound naive. Easy to figure that one out.

      Avatar for savcal2011
      iVillage Member
      Registered: 10-06-2010
      Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:32pm
      Oh yeah. Naïve. Because Bord is really being taken - what with the $7.38 cents it's costing her per year for this chick to do her laundry. lol

      "I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

      Avatar for savcal2011
      iVillage Member
      Registered: 10-06-2010
      Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:33pm
      And we (many of us) have told you numerous times before that things were none of your business, and it's never stopped you from badgering about it, so why would this be any different?

      "I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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