A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:51am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">We do as well, but even our little closets hold a great number of shirts/pants/etc and since they are put away neatly, no wrinkles. </span></p><p style="text-align:left"><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>There is no room inbetween my pants, at all. Many of them have 2 pairs per hanger as there is not enough room even for a thin hanger. lol. </span></span></strong></p>

It sounds like your closet isn't very organized, that is one place that I am super organzied.  I even group like colors together, in the proper color order of course, lol. 

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:52am
"You can deduct things from your taxes at tax time and it still does not impact your monthly budget." How could it not have an effect on your budget if it changes your income?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:52am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">It is true that if you just give things away and don't deduct them from your taxes, it won't have an impact on your budget.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You can deduct things from your taxes at tax time and it still does not impact your monthly budget. </span></p>

A budget done correctly would have last years tax implications and future tax implications taken into account.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:55am

Are you picking up after your family members on a regular basis? 

No but again I have said they don't see the things I see. I will tell them to clean or pick up something that needs to be but if they ARE out of the house, I WILL pick it up or clean it up. I don't just let things sit for hours on end, especially if I have someone coming over to the house. 

I don't need to have every single thing in my house in a home place in order to find things, it's not really that complicated.

So you just put things back in different places all the time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:56am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">No one helps you?  I mean you have said you spend a lot of time cleaning/picking up and so forth each day, doesn't anyone help you?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Of course they do and I have said that before, even in this thread. I never said I spend A LOT of time either. I did say that I do clean/pick up/do laundry on a regular basis and not wait for one day to do it all. I find that frees me up a lot more time to not have a wasted life. </span></strong></p>

Yea, actually you did...you said that you were always cleaning something, you have said it was important, so much so that you can't relax and watch tv or read a book unless everything is picked up.  If you have such a small house and everyone helps you, how could you spend much time cleaning at all? 

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:56am

That makes sense, I'm sure that you can understand that others don't suffer from OCD and therefore having a bit of clutter just means that there is clutter, no judgement.  Right?

Ummm...yes, I am well aware of people who find clutter not a problem. I even know people who are hoarders so I am well aware of it all. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:57am

It sounds like your closet isn't very organized, that is one place that I am super organzied.  I even group like colors together, in the proper color order of course, lol. 

Nope, it is very organized. Even my shoes have separate places for separate things. 

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 11:58am

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">What does being frugal have to do with helping others? </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Using a washer/dryer uses water and electricity. If you are frugal and try to keep your bills down, letting 3 other people outside of your home use your washer/dryer can allow your bill to increase.</span></strong></p>

That's not what frugal means, it means not spending money on things one doesn't need or want, it doesn't mean not helping others.  

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 12:00pm

<<No but again I have said they don't see the things I see. I will tell them to clean or pick up something that needs to be but if they ARE out of the house, I WILL pick it up or clean it up. I don't just let things sit for hours on end, especially if I have someone coming over to the house. >>

What do you see that they don't?  I would think at your kids ages they would be a bit more responsbile for their items in the public rooms.

 <<So you just put things back in different places all the time?>>

Um no.  ??  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-10-2014 - 12:01pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That makes sense, I'm sure that you can understand that others don't suffer from OCD and therefore having a bit of clutter just means that there is clutter, no judgement.  Right?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Ummm...yes, I am well aware of people who find clutter not a problem. I even know people who are hoarders so I am well aware of it all. </span></strong></p>

There is a great wide range between clutter and hoarder, why do you seem to always assume the extreme?

PumpkinAngel

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