A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 01-14-2014 - 5:18pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">All I said was that Quees said she enjoyed it and you said that you want to be doing other things.  If you only talk in extremes, it's hard to know that you have any understanding of the middle ground, try mentioning now and again.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Where did I go to an extreme? You seem to like this word. We both clean. We both like the outcome. End of story.</span></strong></p>

I explained how you went to exremes in the prevoius post, please read.  I didn't think there was a story, you are the one who decided that it was worth mentioning, why?  I don't know.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 01-14-2014 - 5:16pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<div style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px"><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">You aren't close to your only sibling?  </span></div><div style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px"><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></div><div style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif; font-size:14px"><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;What do you mean close? &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">You don't know what it means to be close to a sibling?</p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;I was taken a back a bit by that as well, I know I would offer at the drop of a hat to family and/or friends, I can't imagine not even thinking of offering the use of the machines.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So would I so why do you think I would not offer them?&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I can't imagine that you would, based on lots of previous posts and your clear disdane at bord offering.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;div style="font-weight:bold"&gt;&lt;em&gt;blackandwhitemolly&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;What do you mean close? &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;You don't know what it means to be close to a sibling?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I know what close means. Not sure why you would think you woukd know every.single thing going on in your siblings life or your parents or cousins, etc. &lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Why on earth do you always go to extremes, every single thing, lol.   I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>lackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Why on earth do you always go to extremes, every single thing, lol.   I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Not sure why you consider this going to extremes? I don't know every.single thing that is going on in my sister's life as well as she does not know mine. I only knew after the fact that she had no washer/dryer hooked up. If she felt the need, she could have and would have called me to use mine or her inlaws or neighbors or friends, etc. I would do the same as that is how we are, as well as most people I know. They don't always go looking for help, they help themselves first. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Well easily, you leaped from knowing about a room remodel to knowing every single thing, did you not read my post, again?  I'm sorry that you aren't close to your sibling.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Well easily, you leaped from knowing about a room remodel to knowing every single thing, did you not read my post, again? &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;I read it and no I don't know 100% of everything that goes on in my siblings home as the same with her. Should I have called her and told her we needed to drain out our washer today and now everything is honky dory? lol. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt; I'm sorry that you aren't close to your sibling.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;How is that not being close to a sibling? &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;I consider me and my immediate family pretty darn close but I don't know every detail about what goes on in their lives either.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Yep and I talk to my mother on a regular basis and I still don't know 100% of her day. Not sure why I would or should. Unless something is remembered or needed, I wouldn't mention many things either. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Please point out where it was stated that you should know 100% of her day...oh wait, that wasn't said either.  </p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;So how much do you know then or want to know? Your sibling shares everything with you? Why? &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Then or want to know, huh?  I never said my sibling shares everything with me, that is your fictional extreme that you created, why?  I don't know why you went to the extreme again.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Please point out where it was stated that you should know 100% of her day...oh wait, that wasn't said either.  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;So why should I know almost everything then if not 100% in someone else's life, no matter if they are family?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I never said almot everything either, that is another made up comment on your part.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;ul&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;div&gt;&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;div style="font-weight:bold"&gt;&lt;em&gt;blackandwhitemolly&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px"&amp;gt;Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close&amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px"&amp;gt;So how much do you know then or want to know? Your sibling shares everything with you? Why? &amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;Then or want to know, huh?  I never said my sibling shares everything with me, that is your fictional extreme that you created, why?  I don't know why you went to the extreme again.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Sowhy should mine?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</blockquote><p>You would have to ask yourself, you are the one who made up the whole sharing 100%, that's never what I said, only what you created.  Why did you create the fictional sharing everything?  </p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;div style="font-weight:bold"&gt;&lt;em&gt;jamblessedthree&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&lt;span&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Exactly.  I didn't know I needed to know every intimate detail about my family to be close.&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;It's only needed in mollys fictional world, no worries!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;ummm..no it is not and that is why I dont everything my sibling does. You were the one questioning if I was close to my sibling. Why would you ask that then unless to say that I should know everything.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Nope, I never said anything about knowing every intimate detail about one's family, I didn't ask that.  You made that up.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;I never said almot everything either, that is another made up comment on your part.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So why the question if I was close to my sibling?&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I explained that earlier, did you not bother to read my answer?</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Nope, I never said anything about knowing every intimate detail about one's family, I didn't ask that.  You made that up.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I never used the word intimate, go look back.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So again please explain why I would have known my sisters situation and why the question if we were close.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  </p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Explain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.</p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Why did you want to know if I was?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.</p><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid"><div><div><div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;div style="font-weight:bold"&gt;&lt;em&gt;blackandwhitemolly&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&amp;gt;I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.&amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&amp;gt;Why did you want to know if I was?&amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Since you are not proving your point, you can either re-quote or simply bow out as you have not proved your point why I should have known about my siblings situation. &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.</p></div></div></div></div><div><div><ul></ul></div></div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I guess this debate is over too. When you decide to let me know why I should know about my siblings washer/dryer problem, then we can continue. If you want to prove your point, quote what you said. By you continually saying the same thing, it only proves you haven't proven your point. Either do it or move on.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Again, I didn't say that you should know about anything, please stop making things up already.</p><p><strong>This is the ENTIRE conversation. Please go back and follow. Not ONCE did you tell me WHY I should be close enough to a sibling to know what is going on in their home, even a remodel (which basically it was not, just putting a counter space on top of a washer/dryer). You did say a couple times you were sorry that I was not close even after I asked what you meant and you would not answer the question. This is your M.O. and it is really getting tiresome. Still not sure why you choose to believe that I am not close to my sibling because of something she is doing in her home. I knew she was said her house was a mess but nothing about not having a washer/dryer to use at that time.</strong> </p></div>

I never said that you had to be close to your sibling or why you should be close to your sibiling I asked if you were.  You didn't answer the question, instead asking questions to questions.  You are the one who keeps insisting that I said something that I didn't and then asking me questions about something I didn't say, which I clearly have pointed out more than once.   It is tiresome for me to constantly repeat the same answers and point out false statements, I agree...if you wish me to stop pointing those out, then stop saying them.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

All I said was that Quees said she enjoyed it and you said that you want to be doing other things.  If you only talk in extremes, it's hard to know that you have any understanding of the middle ground, try mentioning now and again.

Where did I go to an extreme? You seem to like this word. We both clean. We both like the outcome. End of story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

New flash there Molly, I don't make different meals either...so why would you say there is a difference?  You know when I said that my family generally eats the same meal each night...why would you say that you don't and also claim that extra meals aren't made?

So why did you think "I" would? If we eat different things, I am not MAKING those different things. I have said that a few times. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
You aren't close to your only sibling?  

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>What do you mean close? </p>

You don't know what it means to be close to a sibling?

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>I was taken a back a bit by that as well, I know I would offer at the drop of a hat to family and/or friends, I can't imagine not even thinking of offering the use of the machines.</span></p><p>So would I so why do you think I would not offer them?</p>

I can't imagine that you would, based on lots of previous posts and your clear disdane at bord offering.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div><span>&lt;p&gt;What do you mean close? &lt;/p&gt;</span></blockquote><p><span>You don't know what it means to be close to a sibling?</span></p><p>I know what close means. Not sure why you would think you woukd know every.single thing going on in your siblings life or your parents or cousins, etc. </p>

Why on earth do you always go to extremes, every single thing, lol.   I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family.

lackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Why on earth do you always go to extremes, every single thing, lol.   I'm close to my immediate family, I wouildn't find out after the fact that they remodeled a room in their home for example. I'm sorry that you are not close to your family</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Not sure why you consider this going to extremes? I don't know every.single thing that is going on in my sister's life as well as she does not know mine. I only knew after the fact that she had no washer/dryer hooked up. If she felt the need, she could have and would have called me to use mine or her inlaws or neighbors or friends, etc. I would do the same as that is how we are, as well as most people I know. They don't always go looking for help, they help themselves first. </span></strong></p>

Well easily, you leaped from knowing about a room remodel to knowing every single thing, did you not read my post, again?  I'm sorry that you aren't close to your sibling.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Well easily, you leaped from knowing about a room remodel to knowing every single thing, did you not read my post, again? </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">I read it and no I don't know 100% of everything that goes on in my siblings home as the same with her. Should I have called her and told her we needed to drain out our washer today and now everything is honky dory? lol. </span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px"> I'm sorry that you aren't close to your sibling.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">How is that not being close to a sibling? </span></strong></p>

Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I consider me and my immediate family pretty darn close but I don't know every detail about what goes on in their lives either.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Yep and I talk to my mother on a regular basis and I still don't know 100% of her day. Not sure why I would or should. Unless something is remembered or needed, I wouldn't mention many things either. </span></strong></p>

Please point out where it was stated that you should know 100% of her day...oh wait, that wasn't said either.  

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">So how much do you know then or want to know? Your sibling shares everything with you? Why? </span></strong></p>

Then or want to know, huh?  I never said my sibling shares everything with me, that is your fictional extreme that you created, why?  I don't know why you went to the extreme again.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Please point out where it was stated that you should know 100% of her day...oh wait, that wasn't said either.  </span></p><p><span>So why should I know almost everything then if not 100% in someone else's life, no matter if they are family?</span></p>

I never said almot everything either, that is another made up comment on your part.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><ul></ul></div></div><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><div><div><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;Again, nobody said anything about knowing 100%, that's your made up thing.  Again.  I'm sorry that you aren't close&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;So how much do you know then or want to know? Your sibling shares everything with you? Why? &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p>Then or want to know, huh?  I never said my sibling shares everything with me, that is your fictional extreme that you created, why?  I don't know why you went to the extreme again.</p><p>Sowhy should mine?</p></div></div></div></div>

You would have to ask yourself, you are the one who made up the whole sharing 100%, that's never what I said, only what you created.  Why did you create the fictional sharing everything?  

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>jamblessedthree</em> wrote:</div><span>&lt;p&gt;Exactly.  I didn't know I needed to know every intimate detail about my family to be close.&lt;/p&gt;</span></blockquote><p><span>It's only needed in mollys fictional world, no worries!</span></p><p><span>ummm..no it is not and that is why I dont everything my sibling does. You were the one questioning if I was close to my sibling. Why would you ask that then unless to say that I should know everything.</span></p>

Nope, I never said anything about knowing every intimate detail about one's family, I didn't ask that.  You made that up.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>I never said almot everything either, that is another made up comment on your part.</span></p><p>So why the question if I was close to my sibling?</p>

I explained that earlier, did you not bother to read my answer?

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Nope, I never said anything about knowing every intimate detail about one's family, I didn't ask that.  You made that up.</span></p><p>I never used the word intimate, go look back.</p>

Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P</span></p><p>So again please explain why I would have known my sisters situation and why the question if we were close.</p>

I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Explain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer. </span></strong></p>

I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why did you want to know if I was?</span></strong></p>

Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Why did you want to know if I was?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Since you are not proving your point, you can either re-quote or simply bow out as you have not proved your point why I should have known about my siblings situation. </strong></p>

You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I guess this debate is over too. When you decide to let me know why I should know about my siblings washer/dryer problem, then we can continue. If you want to prove your point, quote what you said. By you continually saying the same thing, it only proves you haven't proven your point. Either do it or move on.</span></strong></p>

    Again, I didn't say that you should know about anything, please stop making things up already.

    This is the ENTIRE conversation. Please go back and follow. Not ONCE did you tell me WHY I should be close enough to a sibling to know what is going on in their home, even a remodel (which basically it was not, just putting a counter space on top of a washer/dryer). You did say a couple times you were sorry that I was not close even after I asked what you meant and you would not answer the question. This is your M.O. and it is really getting tiresome. Still not sure why you choose to believe that I am not close to my sibling because of something she is doing in her home. I knew she was said her house was a mess but nothing about not having a washer/dryer to use at that time. 

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 06-27-1998
    Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:54pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">&lt;&lt;Where did I say I did not enjoy it? I simply said I am always cleaning something because I don't leave things to days I am off and spend hours doing them. I consider putting something away, picking up lint on the floor, wiping something down, etc, etc. AS cleaning. I enjoy a clean home and don't want to leave it in a mess to come home to a mess. Like I said before I am more relaxed when my house is clean.&gt;&gt;</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You didn't say that you did, Queen did...that is a difference between the posts.  I don't know why you only talk i extremes, there is a middle ground between a clean home and a mess.  </p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>So you don't know if I enjoy it or not but just assumed I didn't because I say there is always something to clean. I never said there was not a middle gorund between a clean home and a mess now, did I?</strong></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p>

    All I said was that Quees said she enjoyed it and you said that you want to be doing other things.  If you only talk in extremes, it's hard to know that you have any understanding of the middle ground, try mentioning now and again.

    PumpkinAngel

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

    <<Where did I say I did not enjoy it? I simply said I am always cleaning something because I don't leave things to days I am off and spend hours doing them. I consider putting something away, picking up lint on the floor, wiping something down, etc, etc. AS cleaning. I enjoy a clean home and don't want to leave it in a mess to come home to a mess. Like I said before I am more relaxed when my house is clean.>>

    You didn't say that you did, Queen did...that is a difference between the posts.  I don't know why you only talk i extremes, there is a middle ground between a clean home and a mess.  

    So you don't know if I enjoy it or not but just assumed I didn't because I say there is always something to clean. I never said there was not a middle gorund between a clean home and a mess now, did I?

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 06-27-1998
    Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:35pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">But I did and you addressed my comments....and you said you would name a few, you know, what I mentioned in my comments.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">No, I would name a few that was brought up without my consent. Go back and re-read. I am not going to keep going on and on with you about things that you are not reading.</span></strong></p>

    ....and yet, you still have not given examples, either way.  Curious.

    PumpkinAngel

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 06-27-1998
    Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:34pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You didn't read again.  I asked you, how is it different from what I said about my family, you said it was different.  Again, how is it different from what I said earlier? </p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Explain.  How.  It.  Is.  Different.  Already.</p><div style="color:#000000; font-size:14px; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">We don't always eat at the same time either, different schedules you know, but we usually always eat the same meal.  I would find it odd to make 4 different meals, or even 2 on a regular basis, yes.  I prepare a healthy meal most evenings and everyone generally eats that meal, why is that odd to you?  Do you find it odd for kids and a dh to eat healthy on a regular basis?</span></strong></div><div style="color:#000000; font-size:14px; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></strong></div><div style="color:#000000; font-family:Calibri; font-size:medium"><strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about</span><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif"><span style="font-size:13px">…</span></span></strong></div><div style="color:#000000; font-size:14px; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><br /></span></strong></div><div style="color:#000000; font-size:14px; font-family:Calibri, sans-serif"><blockquote><strong>Sometimes it goes either way. Most often we all eat the same meals but there are times that my kids are out eating someplace else or one or two people eat some type of leftover while the other 2 eat something else. We all eat whatever in the morning, breakfast foods but not all the same. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</strong></blockquote><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>So how is that different than I what I said in my post?  </strong></p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.</strong></p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">Are you even reading what you have written? "<strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">We don't always eat at the same time either, different schedules you know, but we usually always eat the same meal.  I would find it odd to make 4 different meals, or even 2 on a regular basis, yes"---Here is the difference AGAIN.</span></strong></p><p style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong><span style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; text-align:left">We don't eat the same meal all the time. I don't "MAKE" 2 or 4 different meals. THAT is the difference. We are not MAKING different meals. </span></strong></p></div>

    New flash there Molly, I don't make different meals either...so why would you say there is a difference?  You know when I said that my family generally eats the same meal each night...why would you say that you don't and also claim that extra meals aren't made?

    PumpkinAngel

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 06-27-1998
    Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:29pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I guess this debate is over too. When you decide to let me know why I should know about my siblings washer/dryer problem, then we can continue. If you want to prove your point, quote what you said. By you continually saying the same thing, it only proves you haven't proven your point. Either do it or move on.</span></strong></p>

    Again, I didn't say that you should know about anything, please stop making things up already.

    PumpkinAngel

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