A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:28pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; font-size:13px; text-align:left"><div><div><div><p>I have already told you the problem, imo.  Read the posts.  Again, I said nothing about sit and play video games, that is only your fictional addition, not my words.</p><div><strong>Well if you told me I guess this part of the debate is over. </strong></div></div></div></div></div>

Good.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 01-14-2014 - 1:28pm

<<Where did I say I did not enjoy it? I simply said I am always cleaning something because I don't leave things to days I am off and spend hours doing them. I consider putting something away, picking up lint on the floor, wiping something down, etc, etc. AS cleaning. I enjoy a clean home and don't want to leave it in a mess to come home to a mess. Like I said before I am more relaxed when my house is clean.>>

You didn't say that you did, Queen did...that is a difference between the posts.  I don't know why you only talk i extremes, there is a middle ground between a clean home and a mess.  

<<

Yes, she has clearly shown that she read, comprehend and retain information, unlike this conversation where things need to be repeated mulitple times and are clearly not read by yourself.
She never came back so that is why she has not repeated it. <

Repeated what?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

But I did and you addressed my comments....and you said you would name a few, you know, what I mentioned in my comments.  

No, I would name a few that was brought up without my consent. Go back and re-read. I am not going to keep going on and on with you about things that you are not reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

You didn't read again.  I asked you, how is it different from what I said about my family, you said it was different.  Again, how is it different from what I said earlier? 

Explain.  How.  It.  Is.  Different.  Already.

We don't always eat at the same time either, different schedules you know, but we usually always eat the same meal.  I would find it odd to make 4 different meals, or even 2 on a regular basis, yes.  I prepare a healthy meal most evenings and everyone generally eats that meal, why is that odd to you?  Do you find it odd for kids and a dh to eat healthy on a regular basis?

Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about

Sometimes it goes either way. Most often we all eat the same meals but there are times that my kids are out eating someplace else or one or two people eat some type of leftover while the other 2 eat something else. We all eat whatever in the morning, breakfast foods but not all the same. </span></strong></p>

So how is that different than I what I said in my post?  

Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.

Are you even reading what you have written? "We don't always eat at the same time either, different schedules you know, but we usually always eat the same meal.  I would find it odd to make 4 different meals, or even 2 on a regular basis, yes"---Here is the difference AGAIN.

We don't eat the same meal all the time. I don't "MAKE" 2 or 4 different meals. THAT is the difference. We are not MAKING different meals. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.

I guess this debate is over too. When you decide to let me know why I should know about my siblings washer/dryer problem, then we can continue. If you want to prove your point, quote what you said. By you continually saying the same thing, it only proves you haven't proven your point. Either do it or move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

I have already told you the problem, imo.  Read the posts.  Again, I said nothing about sit and play video games, that is only your fictional addition, not my words.

Well if you told me I guess this part of the debate is over. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

<<Then you quoted it wrong. Re-read:

I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them.
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them. That is why I find it not a lot of time. I do laundry every other day. This morning I threw in a load, will put it in the dryer at lunch and then fold and put away after work. I am always cleaning something. My dh cooks during the week most of the time and then I will do the weekends. </p>>>
Yes, right there you said "I am always cleaning something."  
<<I don't want to be "always cleaning something", I want to be doing other things than cleaning.>>
Then it's not the same as Queen, she finds enjoyment in her clearning, you want to be doing other things.
Where did I say I did not enjoy it? I simply said I am always cleaning something because I don't leave things to days I am off and spend hours doing them. I consider putting something away, picking up lint on the floor, wiping something down, etc, etc. AS cleaning. I enjoy a clean home and don't want to leave it in a mess to come home to a mess. Like I said before I am more relaxed when my house is clean.
<<She posted ONE thing on this but she has shown that she can read, comprehend and retain the information after posting the same thing I said and didn't post again? lol>>
Yes, she has clearly shown that she read, comprehend and retain information, unlike this conversation where things need to be repeated mulitple times and are clearly not read by yourself.
She never came back so that is why she has not repeated it. 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 3:32pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;div style="font-weight:bold"&gt;&lt;em&gt;blackandwhitemolly&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&amp;gt;So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?&amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&amp;gt;I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. &amp;lt;/span&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/strong&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;That is simply untrue.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Would you like me to name a few?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You are going to name a few times where you said that something was none of our business or too personal of a questions because you were hiding something?  Sure, go ahead.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Nope..."<span style="background-color:#f6f6f6">I never had the opportunity ones" which have come up more than something I said was no one's business.</span></strong></p>

But I did and you addressed my comments....and you said you would name a few, you know, what I mentioned in my comments.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 3:31pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about...</span></strong></p><blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;and AGAIN, I am not &lt;strong&gt;MAKING&lt;/strong&gt; multiple meals. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">So again, how is it different than what I said?</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>It is different as I never said I was MAKING multiple meals like you quoted me in saying. You don't have to MAKE multiple meals to have different things for each person in your family and maybe even eating at the same time.</strong></p>

You didn't read again.  I asked you, how is it different from what I said about my family, you said it was different.  Again, how is it different from what I said earlier? 

Explain.  How.  It.  Is.  Different.  Already.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 3:29pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Why did you want to know if I was?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Since you are not proving your point, you can either re-quote or simply bow out as you have not proved your point why I should have known about my siblings situation. </strong></p>

You didn't answer the question, but instead went to the extreme claiming why did you need to know every single thing in your siblings life...you know, something I didn't say or ask?  Again, we have gone over all of this mulitple times.  Read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

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