A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 3:28pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I have read them and addressed them, read them already.  Again, I never said that it was a sit and play video game, stop making things up and read what is written already.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Then what is the problem? You seem to not be comprehending that this ONE thing in a gym class is NOT a sit and play video game. Or you just are insistant to put forth your opinion on sit and play video games which has NOTHING to do with what I have explained.</span></strong></p>

I have already told you the problem, imo.  Read the posts.  Again, I said nothing about sit and play video games, that is only your fictional addition, not my words.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 3:27pm

<<Then you quoted it wrong. Re-read:

I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them.
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them. That is why I find it not a lot of time. I do laundry every other day. This morning I threw in a load, will put it in the dryer at lunch and then fold and put away after work. I am always cleaning something. My dh cooks during the week most of the time and then I will do the weekends. </p>>>
Yes, right there you said "I am always cleaning something."  
<<I don't want to be "always cleaning something", I want to be doing other things than cleaning.>>
Then it's not the same as Queen, she finds enjoyment in her clearning, you want to be doing other things.
<<She posted ONE thing on this but she has shown that she can read, comprehend and retain the information after posting the same thing I said and didn't post again? lol>>
Yes, she has clearly shown that she read, comprehend and retain information, unlike this conversation where things need to be repeated mulitple times and are clearly not read by yourself.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That is simply untrue.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Would you like me to name a few?</strong></p>

You are going to name a few times where you said that something was none of our business or too personal of a questions because you were hiding something?  Sure, go ahead.

Nope..."I never had the opportunity ones" which have come up more than something I said was no one's business.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about...

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">and AGAIN, I am not <strong>MAKING</strong> multiple meals. </span></p>

So again, how is it different than what I said?

It is different as I never said I was MAKING multiple meals like you quoted me in saying. You don't have to MAKE multiple meals to have different things for each person in your family and maybe even eating at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Why did you want to know if I was?</span></strong></p>

Again, explained the first time around, read the posts.

Since you are not proving your point, you can either re-quote or simply bow out as you have not proved your point why I should have known about my siblings situation. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

I have read them and addressed them, read them already.  Again, I never said that it was a sit and play video game, stop making things up and read what is written already.

Then what is the problem? You seem to not be comprehending that this ONE thing in a gym class is NOT a sit and play video game. Or you just are insistant to put forth your opinion on sit and play video games which has NOTHING to do with what I have explained.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

<<No, I know she understood. She basically said the same thing to me but you felt the need to continue on with me and ask why and you did not with her. Why is that? Why don't you ask her the same thing you asked me? I never said I clean all the time. I said that I like a clean home and an uncluttered one, just like Queen. It relaxes me also which I am pretty sure I did say and you still asked me.>>

Yes, you did say you clean all the time, I quoted it for you before.  You said that you are always cleaning something in your post on the very first page.  

Then you quoted it wrong. Re-read:

I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them.
blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p>I do things on a regular basis and not just pick one or two days to do them. That is why I find it not a lot of time. I do laundry every other day. This morning I threw in a load, will put it in the dryer at lunch and then fold and put away after work. I am always cleaning something. My dh cooks during the week most of the time and then I will do the weekends. </p>

I don't want to be "always cleaning something", I want to be doing other things than cleaning.

"I don't want to be "always cleaning something", I want to be doing other things than cleaning."

I'm not but when I pass by something and it looks like something needs to be put away or cleaned, it takes a few seconds to do it. This is not a deep cleaning session that will take hours and I don't have time for anything else in the day. A quick wipe down of a dirty counter takes a few seconds. A quick run of the vacuum, a quick putting away a pair of shoes, throwing clothes in the hamper. None of those things take very long and affect anything else I want to do in life.

Again, I didn't make my same comments to Queen because again, she has shown that she can read, comprehend and retain the information from post to post.

From Queen-lso--re: the OP. I like a clean house and I find it difficult to relax if the house isn't tidy. It's not wasting my life. It makes me happy and is productive.
She posted ONE thing on this but she has shown that she can read, comprehend and retain the information after posting the same thing I said and didn't post again? lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:51pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That is simply untrue.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Would you like me to name a few?</strong></p>

You are going to name a few times where you said that something was none of our business or too personal of a questions because you were hiding something?  Sure, go ahead.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:51pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"></p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">That is simply untrue.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Would you like me to name a few?</strong></p>

You are going to name a few times where you said that something was none of our business or too personal of a questions because you were hiding something?  Sure, go ahead.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:49pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Make up your mind, you said you were different from my family that generally eats the same meal each evening.  You specifically said that your family doesn't eat the same meal.  If they aren't eating the same meal, then there are multiple meals invovled.  This is not rocket science.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">and AGAIN, I am not <strong>MAKING</strong> multiple meals. </span></p>

So again, how is it different than what I said?

PumpkinAngel

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