A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:38pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Explain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer. </span></strong></p>

I didn't say that you should be close to your sibling, I asked if you were.  Read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:38pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You didn't answer the question, do you eat healthy and then serve the rest of your family something unhealthy?  If so, why?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Sometimes it goes either way. Most often we all eat the same meals but there are times that my kids are out eating someplace else or one or two people eat some type of leftover while the other 2 eat something else. We all eat whatever in the morning, breakfast foods but not all the same. </span></strong></p>

So how is that different than I what I said in my post?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:37pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">&lt;&lt;So you dont realize that these 2 things are the same, gotcha. That is why you are fighting me on this when this is not a sedatary activity no matter how much you want to think it is.&gt;&gt;</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">No, that's not what that says, try reading again.  I'm not fighting you on this,  and I never said it was a sedatary activity, stop creating fiction already.</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>Then stop the back and forth about video games being bad for kids. I have explained over and over how this is not a video game where you just sit around and get no exercise. It is EXACTLY like an exercise video you would use at home.</strong></p>

Video games can be bad for kids, it is a video game.  Xbox connect is a video game and again, and we aren't talking about adults, we are talking about kids.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:35pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Also--re: the OP. I like a clean house and I find it difficult to relax if the house isn't tidy. It's not wasting my life. It makes me happy and is productive.</span></p><p>Quuen-I said the same thing in a different way. Except I got asked why I couldnt sit still if there was clutter around and didnt see to get what you just said. No one or shouId I say PKA asked you. Interesting.</p>

Actually no, I asked you why you were cleaning all the time, since those were the words that you used.  I then went on to explain how having a house with no clutter isn't one of my goals in life.  I didn't fill the need to repeat my comments to Queen because she has shown that she is quite capable of reading, comprehending and retaining information from post to post.  

Are you claiming that she didn't understand my comments?

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:04pm
"Explain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer." I don't really care whether you are close to your sibling or not, but you did that you were. In my experience, I don't know everything about the lives of the friends andExplain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer. family members I'd consider close, but if one were having a remodel done, or major home repairs, it would come up in conversation. I'd know about it. Casual acquaintances and the siblings I'm not all that close to, no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:01pm

So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?

I have never done that as I never had the opportunity. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 12:00pm

Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about...

I didn't say "making multiple meals". Sometimes someone brings something home from work or school, etc. No one said anyone was making multiple meals. Sometimes we cook for the kids and we go out, sometimes we cook for the kids and get something on the outside. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 11:58am

I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  

Explain why you think I would and should be close to my sibling. Why I should have known that she could not use her washer and dryer. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 11:46am

You didn't answer the question, do you eat healthy and then serve the rest of your family something unhealthy?  If so, why?

Sometimes it goes either way. Most often we all eat the same meals but there are times that my kids are out eating someplace else or one or two people eat some type of leftover while the other 2 eat something else. We all eat whatever in the morning, breakfast foods but not all the same. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 11:40am

<<So you dont realize that these 2 things are the same, gotcha. That is why you are fighting me on this when this is not a sedatary activity no matter how much you want to think it is.>>

No, that's not what that says, try reading again.  I'm not fighting you on this,  and I never said it was a sedatary activity, stop creating fiction already.

Then stop the back and forth about video games being bad for kids. I have explained over and over how this is not a video game where you just sit around and get no exercise. It is EXACTLY like an exercise video you would use at home.

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