A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

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Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 01-13-2014 - 8:15am
I dunno, PKA already said her piece on the benefits of a more relaxed approach towed home maintenance. Does she really need to repeat herself? I got her point the first time around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Also--re: the OP. I like a clean house and I find it difficult to relax if the house isn't tidy. It's not wasting my life. It makes me happy and is productive.

Quuen-I said the same thing in a different way. Except I got asked why I couldnt sit still if there was clutter around and didnt see to get what you just said. No one or shouId I say PKA asked you. Interesting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:49pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p>There are after school kids that can eat me out of house and home too. </p>

So true!

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:49pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<div style="color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><ul></ul></div></div><div style="border-bottom-color:#cccccc; border-bottom-width:1px; border-bottom-style:solid; color:#111111; font-family:Arial, Helvetica, Helvetica, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size:13px; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; text-align:left; text-indent:0px; text-transform:none; background-color:#ffffff"><div><div><div><p>The whole story is that I told some people I know that if they'd like to use my laundry room to save the hassle and expense of going to the laundromat, they were welcome to do so.  And they took me up on the offer.  The end.</p><p>Good try. You told me yesterday it was none of my business about the single woman. Sounds like there is a bigger story behind that and one that would make you sound naive. Easy to figure that one out.</p></div></div></div></div>

So when you say something is none of our business or too personal of a question, you are hiding something as well?

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:48pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Portion size matters a lot too, I don't eat a lot of it but DD1 can realy shovel pasta away, DD2 isn't a big fan of Italian food but she'll make up for it in salad, bread and dessert.  DS is a real picky eater.  We all try to eat together most days. </p>

Do you all eat the same meal or do you make multiple meals?  You know because making multiple meals is what molly was talking about...

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:47pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Couldn't portion sizes matter too?  I don't eat a lot but DD1 can realy shovel it away, DD2 isn't a big fan of Italian food but she'll make up for it in salad, bread and dessert.  DS is a real picky eater. </span></p><p><span>You would think she would understand that with having 2 growing teen boys. My nephew used to stay over on some weekends and that kid could eat, he definately ate more than I did.</span></p>

What is one supposed to understand?   

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:46pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P</span></p><p>So again please explain why I would have known my sisters situation and why the question if we were close.</p>

I've already explained and I don't see the purpose of explaining again when you couldn't be bothered to read it the first time.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:44pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?</span></p><p>We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?</p>

We don't always eat at the same time either, different schedules you know, but we usually always eat the same meal.  I would find it odd to make 4 different meals, or even 2 on a regular basis, yes.  I prepare a healthy meal most evenings and everyone generally eats that meal, why is that odd to you?  Do you find it odd for kids and a dh to eat healthy on a regular basis?

You didn't answer the question, do you eat healthy and then serve the rest of your family something unhealthy?  If so, why?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:36pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<p><span>Which of course is also a good reason that bord lets them do their laundry in her home, wouldn't you think?</span></p><p>Why would an 18 yr old high school student need to use someone's washer/dryer? Where are their parents?</p>

Where do you get that its a high school student?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 10:36pm

blackandwhitemolly wrote:
<blockquote><div style="font-weight:bold"><em>blackandwhitemolly</em> wrote:</div><span>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;My personal experiences aren't published in the local paper, ymmv of course.  So no, I don't read about personal experiences in my local paper, you can check if you wish?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I wasnt speaking if your own personal experience or mine.&lt;/p&gt;</span></blockquote><p><span>i was.</span></p><p><span> I was so I dont get why you are talking about my experiences being in my local paper. Please explain.</span></p>

Again, all of my comments were about personal experiences.  My personal experiences are not in the local paper, you asked the question, I answered.

PumpkinAngel

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