A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
A Clean House is a Sign of a Wasted Life?
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Tue, 01-07-2014 - 9:35am

From Time.com, the author takes a look at her life and whether if you put too much time into domestic chores it takes away from your career:

In the early morning stillness, before the house was teeming with other people who needed things from me, I found myself engrossed in an opinion piece by Stephen Marche, “The Case for Filth.” His essay sprang off a study showing that young men today are not doing any more housework than their fathers did 30 years ago.

In the days immediately following its publication, Marche’s essay was hammered. “If there is a God, this guy will spend the afterlife scrubbing toilets and vacuuming,” tweeted feminist author Jessica Valenti, joining a chorus of critics. And she was right. Marche makes a pseudo-intellectual argument for why men don’t do their share of the chores (“Even the most basic housework proves ethereal on inspection”) while demeaning women in the process (“Millions of young women are deeply attracted to the gloomy vice of domestic labor”).

Still, I must confess: When I came to Marche’s penultimate sentence—“A clean house is the sign of a wasted life, truly”—my day was suddenly shot. I found myself sitting there at the kitchen island, rattled, wondering if I was, in fact, truly wasting my life. “Let them eat crust” echoed in my mind.

In this sense, a “clean house” isn’t merely about picking up dirty socks or putting away the dishes. It is about taking on a kind of hidden housework: making a home that is warm and inviting, comfortable and comforting; creating a space where my children’s friends like to hang out and we as a family feel ensconced; and knowing, as Marche himself puts it, “who likes what on their sandwiches.”

But doing all of this takes time, lots of time. And, though my husband does his share, often there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage my home and family as well as I’d like and to be a writer, too.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2014/01/06/making-sense-of-mess-finding-meaning-in-household-chores/

The only way I survived when I was working full time after my twins were born was that I was able to keep using the woman who would come clean my house every week while I was on bedrest.   It's very hard to do it all, and something will suffer at some point, whether it being your own sanity or time with your family.  

What do you think?  Do you have a messy or a clean house?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:16pm

The whole story is that I told some people I know that if they'd like to use my laundry room to save the hassle and expense of going to the laundromat, they were welcome to do so.  And they took me up on the offer.  The end.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 01-12-2014 - 9:06pm

DD1 will be 18 before she starts her senior year, DD2 won't turn 18 until June of her senior year and DS will turn 18 in the middle of his senior year.. DD1 has some good friends that are seniors actually b/c they are in some of the same classes..... Honestly, they're all kids to me, Lol. 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013

Ah yes, that was jams fictional contribution, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference in who is making up what.  :P

So again please explain why I would have known my sisters situation and why the question if we were close.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2013
    So if you do understand the concept of helping people out, why this tiresome nd ridiculous brouhaha over my laundry room?
    I help people out and understand. I dont understand you helping when you wont tell the entire story. 
    Avatar for savcal2011
    iVillage Member
    Registered: 10-06-2010
    Sun, 01-12-2014 - 8:43pm

    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span>Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?</span></p><p>We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?</p>

    I don't find it odd that people like different things, or that they eat, in general, different things.  In our house, we are all served the same things, although The Boy may skip the sauteed peppers and onions one night, and The Girl may skip the couscous, or I may pull the kids' mexican chowder out before I add the really hot chiles, etc.  But we are all served the same meal.    (note: this is for dinner or family meals ... breakfasts and lunches we're often doing our own thing)

    "I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013
    blackandwhitemolly wrote:
    <p><span>My personal experiences aren't published in the local paper, ymmv of course.  So no, I don't read about personal experiences in my local paper, you can check if you wish?</span></p><p>I wasnt speaking if your own personal experience or mine.</p>

    i was.

     I was so I dont get why you are talking about my experiences being in my local paper. Please explain.

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

    Which of course is also a good reason that bord lets them do their laundry in her home, wouldn't you think?

    Why would an 18 yr old high school student need to use someone's washer/dryer? Where are their parents?

    iVillage Member
    Registered: 12-22-2013

      <<So you have a problem with exercise videos too? Please explain the difference between that and these I Game 4 in gym class.>>

      For young kids, yes I do.   as I said earlier kids should not be having to resort to video games to get their activity.  

      So you dont realize that these 2 things are the same, gotcha. That is why you are fighting me on this when this is not a sedatary activity no matter how much you want to think it is.


      Avatar for jamblessedthree
      iVillage Member
      Registered: 10-23-2001
      Sun, 01-12-2014 - 8:37pm

      That's cool and I've heard wonderful things about those front end washers and dryers. I never paid attention to those stickers, maybe it's on the back of mine but mine are old and I'm waiting for them both to bite the dust before replacing them, I do have stickers attached to my furnace, it's so our heating guy can check off and date when he does preventative maintenance on the unit, I'm sure the original date is on it too, does that count? Lol.

       

       

      iVillage Member
      Registered: 12-22-2013

      Just like not saying anything about your body, I also didn't say everyone was like me.  Why wouldn't we all eat the ame dinner at least?  Are you saying that you eat healthy and then turn around and feed the rest of your family something unhealthy?  Why?

      We dont always have meals together and while we most of the time, we all dont like the same things, it is likely we eat different things. Do you find that odd?

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