Closing out friends based on religion

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Closing out friends based on religion
7
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 5:43pm

This other mom, who has a child the same age as me, basically has said that unless I start attending her church, we cannot be friends anymore. I am so sad.  I have nothing against her church, but I have my own; and her church is really too far for me to drive to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-04-2014 - 2:03pm

I also can't imagine what kind of church would insist that you could only be friends with people who belonged to your particular church or even religion.  I'm Catholic and the Catholic church never insisted upon that (and neither did the Jewish religion or any mainstream protestant religions, or in fact any religion that I know of.  I would tell her that it's unfortunate that she is so closed minded and thinks that people of other religions (or no religion at all) don't have anything to offer in the way of friendship--obviously she is going to have very few friends in life.  I might also ask what she is afraid of--being exposed to new ideas?

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 5:56pm
That's not only not nice, but not sane either. My BFF is deeply faithful -- I'm staunchly agnostic. That we are still BFFs is just a testament to our friendship. Real friends don't put conditions on that friendship.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 3:39pm
It sounds like a cult to me too. And I am sorry for your friend, it's her loss to lose you as a friend.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 1:39pm

I might be tempted to say, "I'll pray for you to get out of this destructive cult." Because I am wondering if she belongs to one. Real churches don't require their members to hang out only with other members.

It's sad to lose a friend, but you do need to let her go. A real friend doesn't issue ultimatums like that.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 01-30-2014 - 4:07am
"Blackmail is exactly what it feels like. I feel like I am back in middle school again and someone is telling me "do what I want, or I won't be your friend anymore"." -------- Which is an excellent reason to wish her all the best and go your own way. You will find other friends, and she may be back one day, you never know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 7:03pm

Blackmail is exactly what it feels like.  I feel like I am back in middle school again and someone is telling me "do what I want, or I won't be your friend anymore".

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 6:19pm

jyladvik wrote:
<p>This other mom, who has a child the same age as me, basically has said that unless I start attending her church, we cannot be friends anymore. I am so sad.  I have nothing against her church, but I have my own; and her church is really too far for me to drive to.</p>

"That's a shame, other Mom.  we'll miss your presence in our lives, but iI would no sooner yield to your attempts to blackmail us into attending your church than I would attempt to blackmail  you into attending OUR church.  I hope you have a very nice life."