CLW hits the nail on the head (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
CLW hits the nail on the head (m)
11
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 3:28pm
somewhere in the "outline view". I don't want to post there and drag that one to the top. I'm not a big fan of this new format, and I'd rather look at posts numerically like the old boards because I knew where stuff was rather than these posts with 500 responses from three days ago getting drug up and down and burying new posts, UGH.

But anyways, she says somewhere in the Firefly post that it is not fair to have a child home with an overworked mother. How "great" can a mother be if she spends the whole day canning turnips and then darning the turnip sack into kitchen curtains? It's not good for a child to have a SAHM if they don't get any nurturing or interaction all day. I think *most* of us who sahm or work very pt do so in order to spend time with our kiddies.... to read books and draw chalk pictures on the driveway, to cook a recipe together or go to the local museum and look at dinosaurs. If a mother woh to provide needed income and the child goes to quality dc where they read books and draw chalk on the playground, etc, I think that child is "better off" than the child who vegitates in the corner in front of the TV all day while mom is down at the river scrubbing undies to save money on the electricity the washer would use. And don't throw the old "well we darn socks together" argument out..... I'm sorry, sometimes I'll fold a load of laundry with my four year old, but he wouldn't get off on spending the whole day mending torn knees on his jeans.

It's great that some people live on shoestring budgets in order for a parent to be at home. But the quality of life has to be looked at in those situations. Maybe a few days in daycare with lots of activity and stimulation are better for kids while mom goes and works to pay for new socks from Walmart.

And back to the argument of work costing too much money. No, it doesn't. I have a college degree and certification. It COSTS me money to NOT work full time. I'm sorry but staying home canning tomatoes and recycling my newspaper into toilet paper is not going to cover the six figures I could make working full time. I do not work full time because I don't want to. And I have the luxury of being able to afford the COSTS of sah.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 3:31pm
By the way, what did you think of the posts responding to your "daycare is pricey" post?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 3:47pm
Where in the H*** did that go anyways? I hate these boards now, I really do. I keep vowing to dump this whole ivillage thing, but it's like I'm addicted to misery here, LOL.

From what I remember seeing in responses, it seems almost like I was "in line" with some of the pricier areas of the country in a rate per hour per kid deal. If I did the math for working full time, it was going to be like $500/week for both kids. Which was in line with private (nanny style) daycare. Although still a few hundred short of a center in Boston, LOL. As for "normal sitters" here, like a teenager, I think that about $5 is the going rate for a movie..... because the kids go to bed and all you are really paying them for is to "sit" there and watch tv, lol. I remember I wanted to respond to one post, but the baby woke up and I had to go..... the mother who said she was a SAH but paid a nanny $10/hr to watch her kids while she went out and that was "cheap". I wanted to say to her $10 for FOUR kids is CHEAP. She was comparing apples to oranges. I paid $10/hour for two kids, and one of them wasn't home from 8-11:30 because he was in PReK, LOL. So yes, I thought it was pricey.

But anyways, that's the last I remember of that post before it got eaten in the mess of these new boards. I'll have to go back and see what others said. I really really hate this new format. Like I said, in the older boards, you "knew" where your posts were, and could find them to see responses, etc. Now, they move all over, and it drives me nuts that your post (not your fault I know, but it was your originally and then got responded to a bunch of times), keeps resurfacing to the top with its 888 responses because people won't "let it die". I couldn't even get in on that post because I saw how "responded" to it was and thought, ah hell no, I'm not reading 500 responses before I respond too, I don't have the time, LOL. It pushes down new posts that I end up missing because they move down. Ugh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 4:04pm
It's helping me to click on "Two Days" Instead of All on the far right of the home page. That way you can "focus" on responses to your posts. Stick around! I need to hear from other moms with two boys LOL, and congrats on the baby and his first big milestone.

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Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 4:08pm
If I had to scrub the clothes in the river and can my own tomatoes to SAH I would GET A JOB! And if the increased utility bills were the reason I was wavering I would KEEP MY JOB. It costs me plenty to be AH, but being here is not purely a monetary decision.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 4:16pm
Exactly. That's why my post says that I think *most* of us who SAH do so to BE WITH OUR KIDS, not to save money (even though *most* of us seem to say SAH costs us more money than WOH). Finances are irrelevant for me. I love just being with my kids. That's why I made the decision I did. But OTOH, I enjoy working. So I do that too, finances again are irrelevant. I struck a nice balance with pt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 5:27pm
I have a friend who is quitting because she "can't afford" summer care,etc...but she is planning million trips and sending her kids to camp,etc. so she will be spending lots of money.I think we tend to skew it to whatever way they want to go.I can't afford to work pt days,but I could afford to work ft days or get a job at night...but since I would only want pt days,then I "can't afford" to work the way I want to right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:06pm
Hey, I'm the SAHM you were complaining about who compares "apples to oranges." You made me look like an idiot for saying I think $10 an hour for a nanny is cheap since I have four children. I guess I could have elaborated and said that in MY circle, the part-time nannies who do babysitting on the side for families other than their regular daytime families, universally charge $10 an hour for their time, cash. It doesn't matter if you have one child, two children, six children, or no children at all but would like someone at your house when the furniture is to be delivered. That is the rate for their time, regardless of workload. My nanny/babysitter often spends half her time on the computer surfing the internet and doing her college homework because my younger children are sleeping and my older children are self-entertaining so I still think $10 an hour is cheap and she is not overburdened with work here.

I don't know why but your tone really puts me off. I was trying to give you some information about what other people pay and that I think babysitters and nannies don't get paid all that much and that I consider child care expenses as an important part of the budget even though I SAH. But obviously you didn't want to hear anything that wasn't exactly the same as your recent profound discovery that child care is expensive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 8:40pm
We pay our *teen * $10 an hour for two kids,and throw in pizza and chips(suburban Boston),so I think a ten dollar professional nanny is on the cheap side.I was assumming she was doing YOU the favor by only charging that much.I realize Boston is expensive,but I have also lived in more reasonable parts of the country,and I was quite frankly shocked by how little some people pay for dc.Some of the cut- rate ones are the ones who ware always saying,"Well,if you can't pay for dc,then you should sah..." in a kind of a snide way.Well,geez,at $10 an hour for a nanny or $100 a week for dc,I could have all that and sah!That is what we pay for babysitters and preschool,basically!I didn't know any certified place with degreed teachers could make it charging under a $100 a week!
Avatar for cyndiluwho
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:02pm
ITA! We, definitely, skew things the way we want to see them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-03-2003 - 9:12pm
My *tone* of negativity was directed at the board format, not you. I'm sorry you took my ranting and then talking about your post as negative towards you. I do think $10 for four kids is cheap, that's my opinion. But I think for 2, it's a bit pricey. Seriously, like I said, if you do the math........... If I worked FT, I'd pay $500/week.......... or $2,000 a month.......... or $24,000/year. THAT is pricey. I have never paid for DC. So in looking at how I paid Marissa for a few days in the long term, I can see how some people actually do come on here and say "I don't work because of day care costs". I used to prod those people.......... I used to say "what? Then you must get paid nill, etc". But now I understand that argument, that was the whole point of the original post. I was saying child care is pricey and asked...... is that really what people pay. And yes, it looks like some pay that, and some pay more........ Again, that was the point of the entire original post. I found out the local dc centers are about that. A girl at work pays $50/day for her ONE eightenn month old.......... one kid, $50. So Marissa was probably undercharging me......... I just cannot believe that care is so expensive, WOW.

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