Dear Daughter, why I work...

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Dear Daughter, why I work...
9
Sat, 04-13-2013 - 10:25pm

Another blog from a working mom explaining why she works.  It's in response to her 8 year-old asking why she works.  The mom responds with some interesting and possibly controversial (?) reasons for working instead of staying home.  What do you think?  Here's some of the text:

<<Dear Chloe,

Not long ago you asked me if I love work more than I love you and your brother.

The question breaks my heart, and as you are almost 8, I'm pretty sure it was designed to. Don't worry; I don't hold it against you. Daughters are meant to know and agitate their mother's vulnerable spots --it's part of the special intimacy we share.

..................................................

Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be one of the latter. I knew what I wanted to do the day my 8th grade teacher read my story to the class and told me I was a writer. I still get flushed cheeks and fluttery insides when I've managed to wrestle the words to outline the shape of my thoughts.

...................................................

There are many reasons mommies work -- and they might not be what you think they are. These are mine.

I work because I love it.

I work because scratching the itch to create makes me happy, and that happiness bleeds over into every other area, including how patient and engaged and creative a mother I am.

I work because this nice house and those gymnastics lessons and those sneakers you need to have are all made possible by two incomes.

I work because I want you and your brother to be proud of me...............>>

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parentingcom/dear-daughter-heres-why-i_b_3069576.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 04-13-2013 - 10:32pm

I think that as usual, the Comments section delivers!  Some funny defensive comments about how this wohm is insulting sahms by saying She works to make her kids proud of her, as if kids won't be proud of a sahm.  Also defensive are the comments: Why have kids, when the blogger knew by 8th grade she was destined to be a writer? 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 04-14-2013 - 4:39pm

Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be one of the latter. I knew what I wanted to do the day my 8th grade teacher read my story to the class and told me I was a writer. I still get flushed cheeks and fluttery insides when I've managed to wrestle the words to outline the shape of my thoughts.

 

This sounds like something my friend, a school guidance counselor, would say. Last month (maybe it was Feb?) was counselor appreciation week and she wrote something on her facebook wall about loving what she does and knowing she wanted to be a guidance counselor since 8th grade!  DS attends her school and you can absolutely tell she loves what she does, There is a difference b/w those who love what they do and those that do a job just for the paycheck.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Sun, 04-14-2013 - 4:52pm
I never felt that way about a job. I like my job but could live without the money, I would be out of there in a second. My dh loves his job. It involves one of his favorite things and he basically makes his owns hours and days. No boss on your back everyday.
Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 04-14-2013 - 5:09pm

How many young children go around telling their parens they're proud of them.. Isn't it just the opposite thardy? I hope I make my kids proud but I'm not going to turn to some mommy blog to feel all tingly about that. I think it's important for kids to see parents doing what makes them happy. I love SAH, I've taken some baby steps in returning to school and I truly love subbing in the schools too which I hope leads to something permanent one of these years. In the meantime I'm touched when I get home from school after my older two do and DD asks how my day was. I swear she's more grown up than her years sometimes, Lol, I think we pass that pride and respect onto eachotehr pretty equally now. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2013
Sun, 04-14-2013 - 5:33pm

I have this rule about the comments section on local media: If you want to like and respect your local fellow man, never EVER read the comments in your local newspaper websites.

That probably holds true for parenting columns, too :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 04-15-2013 - 12:58pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p>Another blog from a working mom explaining why she works.  It's in response to her 8 year-old asking why she works.  The mom responds with some interesting and possibly controversial (?) reasons for working instead of staying home.  What do you think?  Here's some of the text:</p><p><em>&lt;&lt;Dear Chloe,</em></p><p><em>Not long ago you asked me if I love work more than I love you and your brother. </em></p><p><em>The question breaks my heart, and as you are almost 8, I'm pretty sure it was designed to. Don't worry; I don't hold it against you. Daughters are meant to know and agitate their mother's vulnerable spots --it's part of the special intimacy we share. </em></p><p><em>..................................................</em></p><p><em>Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be one of the latter. I knew what I wanted to do the day my 8th grade teacher read my story to the class and told me I was a writer. I still get flushed cheeks and fluttery insides when I've managed to wrestle the words to outline the shape of my thoughts.</em></p><p><em>...................................................</em></p><p><em>There are many reasons mommies work -- and they might not be what you think they are. These are mine.</em></p><p><em>I work because I love it.</em></p><p><em>I work because scratching the itch to create makes me happy, and that happiness bleeds over into every other area, including how patient and engaged and creative a mother I am.</em></p><p><em>I work because this nice house and those gymnastics lessons and those sneakers you need to have are all made possible by two incomes.</em></p><p><em>I work because I want you and your brother to be proud of me...............&gt;&gt;</em></p><p>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parentingcom/dear-daughter-heres-why-i_b_3069576.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&amp;ir=Parents<em><br /></em></p>

Sad.  I just don't have time and energy for that debate anymore.  It's sad that each generation of new parents seems to have to have it all over again. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 04-15-2013 - 12:58pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p>Another blog from a working mom explaining why she works.  It's in response to her 8 year-old asking why she works.  The mom responds with some interesting and possibly controversial (?) reasons for working instead of staying home.  What do you think?  Here's some of the text:</p><p><em>&lt;&lt;Dear Chloe,</em></p><p><em>Not long ago you asked me if I love work more than I love you and your brother. </em></p><p><em>The question breaks my heart, and as you are almost 8, I'm pretty sure it was designed to. Don't worry; I don't hold it against you. Daughters are meant to know and agitate their mother's vulnerable spots --it's part of the special intimacy we share. </em></p><p><em>..................................................</em></p><p><em>Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be one of the latter. I knew what I wanted to do the day my 8th grade teacher read my story to the class and told me I was a writer. I still get flushed cheeks and fluttery insides when I've managed to wrestle the words to outline the shape of my thoughts.</em></p><p><em>...................................................</em></p><p><em>There are many reasons mommies work -- and they might not be what you think they are. These are mine.</em></p><p><em>I work because I love it.</em></p><p><em>I work because scratching the itch to create makes me happy, and that happiness bleeds over into every other area, including how patient and engaged and creative a mother I am.</em></p><p><em>I work because this nice house and those gymnastics lessons and those sneakers you need to have are all made possible by two incomes.</em></p><p><em>I work because I want you and your brother to be proud of me...............&gt;&gt;</em></p><p>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parentingcom/dear-daughter-heres-why-i_b_3069576.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&amp;ir=Parents<em><br /></em></p>

Sad.  I just don't have time and energy for that debate anymore.  It's sad that each generation of new parents seems to have to have it all over again. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Mon, 04-15-2013 - 1:08pm

bordwithyou wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">thardy2001</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;Another blog from a working mom explaining why she works.  It's in response to her 8 year-old asking why she works.  The mom responds with some interesting and possibly controversial (?) reasons for working instead of staying home.  What do you think?  Here's some of the text:&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&amp;lt;&amp;lt;Dear Chloe,&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Not long ago you asked me if I love work more than I love you and your brother. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;The question breaks my heart, and as you are almost 8, I'm pretty sure it was designed to. Don't worry; I don't hold it against you. Daughters are meant to know and agitate their mother's vulnerable spots --it's part of the special intimacy we share. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;..................................................&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Some people work to earn a living, and some people are lucky to get paid to do what they love. I am lucky to be one of the latter. I knew what I wanted to do the day my 8th grade teacher read my story to the class and told me I was a writer. I still get flushed cheeks and fluttery insides when I've managed to wrestle the words to outline the shape of my thoughts.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;...................................................&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;There are many reasons mommies work -- and they might not be what you think they are. These are mine.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I work because I love it.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I work because scratching the itch to create makes me happy, and that happiness bleeds over into every other area, including how patient and engaged and creative a mother I am.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I work because this nice house and those gymnastics lessons and those sneakers you need to have are all made possible by two incomes.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;I work because I want you and your brother to be proud of me...............&amp;gt;&amp;gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/parentingcom/dear-daughter-heres-why-i_b_3069576.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&amp;amp;ir=Parents&lt;em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Sad.  I just don't have time and energy for that debate anymore.  It's sad that each generation of new parents seems to have to have it all over again.  </p>

That is exactly what I thought when I read it. Who cares?! I can't tell you which of DS's friends had mothers who worked and mothers who SAH when they were babies. And there are so many shades of gray...what about mothers who WAH? Or work PT? 

I knew a lot more about parenting when I didn't actually have children...

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2013
Tue, 05-07-2013 - 1:41am
This debate about whether parents should work or not or whethertheir kids are proud of them or not is old and crops up every now and then. The issue does not have any solution and each set of parents or children have their own views about it. Nothing to add here.