Is the debate stale?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Is the debate stale?
73
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 11:36pm

I started reading this board only about two months ago. However, I get the sense that most people, SAH or WOH, feel that you should simply make the choice that works best for you. Sure the odd time a WOH will say there is no value in SAH or a SAH will blame WOHs for the rising crime rate but overall it seems to me more people are non-judgmental of the choice to SAH or WOH.

What do you, particularly long-time members, think? Do you think this board has helped SAH and WOH mothers/fathers understand and accept each other’s choices?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 11:50pm
Oh yeah, it's pretty stale. For the most part, yes, the posters here believe that what works for the individual family is what is important. Every once in a while someone will come along and stir the pot with regard to the basic SAH vs. WOH issue, but that issue itself seems to be pretty much old news. There are a lot of interesting debates about related topics, which is why I still keep coming back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 9:44am
Personally, the debate over the years has helped me see a lot of gray areas.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:32am

"a lot of 40 somethings out there who feel no need to have $4 million in investments by age 65."

oh girl you do make me chuckle....your disconnect from how most of us actually make our money and live is endlessly entertaining.... ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:40am
In the short time here it has helped me too. I have accepted that it is completely ok to work or stay at home. I don't feel any doubt or guilt about my decisions (this isn't totally attributed to the board but it has helped). There really don't seem to be any rational well supported arguments that would apply to everyone for either option. Not that either is always an option of course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 4:47pm
I enjoy having my opinions and beliefs challenged.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 10:55pm
Well I sorta agree with her except I'd put the age bracket down to 30 somethings who want that by 40 something;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 11:33pm
We've both come a long way. When I came here 7 years ago, I was a militant SAHM, and now I've got a job and I'm putting my little one in daycare... LOL
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 7:02am

I know I joke around alot but honestly the things you and pnj talk about might as well be in a foreign language to me. I've never thought that way, worked for that, even had it enter my mind that I could ever be wealthy. Seriously it was never even considered. In my family you got a great rich liberal arts degree then you get some kind of job doing some kind of public good work and you live a very modest life and you worry about money at times and ignore it at others...LOL. Even my brother th lawyer is a state employed prosecutor LOL!

I mean more power to you and all that but it's like you dropped in here from another world that bears absolutely no resemblance to the one I live in!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2007
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:04am

Do you think in some cases the differences between SAHMs and WOHMs have less to do with that (SAH or WOH) and more to do with economic background and our ideas surrounding what it means to work or why someone would "choose" to work. For example, and not to pick on the SAHMs but it is a good example in this case I often hear SAHMs comment that WOHM are making a choice to work as if across the board everyone has a choice. Even worse are comments like WOHMs are shirking their responsibilities by working, as if feeding and housing and clothing your child is not taking responsibility for them. What do you think?

As an aside I think it is ok to work for reasons that are not purely economical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 9:15am

I don't think there really is much difference between sahm and wohm. I think our differences come from our backgrounds. So, in a way I agree with you.

I have been a wohm and a sahm. My financial outlook/method/plan has not changed. I am a mixture of PNJ and Katherine. I grew up in a family that values education for educations sake. I also grew up in a family that saves saves saves. DH too. I was also lucky enough to fall in love with and marry a nicely paid engineer. PLus, we timed our house housing purchase extremely well. As a result, our finances are closer to PNJ's and my "employment" consists of volunteering at local social service organizations.

Pages