In one of the other threads,
If I didn't think sah was a direct benefit to my child, I wouldn't have done it.
Some direct benefits include the flexibility of scheduling things to do with the kids, them getting their mother and/or father (when I did work per diem) at home all day , getting up and not having to rush anywhere, etc.
These were direct benefits for my kids and for my situation. I do not think they are direct benefits for all kids or that it is even a needed benefit.
They certainly (school-age) do not need me to sah now.
I can't think of direct benefits.
Direct benefits for *my* children, ymmv.
1) I can devote the time needed to tutor younger DS so that his dyslexia is mitigated.
The flexibility of scheduling offers quite a few side benefits in our family: since DS doesn't have to get up so early, he can stay up later to spend more time with his father. Also, his "village" is larger
the only direct benefit of a sahp for my children only applies to one of my children--Erica. And we didn't know how important a benefit it was until she was an adult and told us that if I hadn't sah and homeschooled her, it's her opinion that she would have committed suicide in high school. As it was, she did think about it but also thought about what it would do to the rest of us and she couldn't do that to us. I think that any benefit to the child of having a sahp would be just as specific. It would be different for each child.
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
Since it's easier to calculate the monetary benefit of WOH, my question is primarily for those who have SAH (or spouses of SAHP's). How has SAH directly benefitted your child/children, and if so, how? Let's leave aside the obvious, "If the parents are happier, the children are happier," as that could apply to WOH also."
Well for us its allowed them to have more/maximum time with a parent and I believe a good parents care is the best care particularly for the first 5 or 6 years. If we both worked we'd both be away from home 50-60 hours a week. I believe its beneficial to a childs development to have more time than we could give if both of us worked, with a parent. This benefit to us, far outweighs any monetary gain. And this benefit keeps us wanting to have a SAHP for the forseable future.
A more stable, relaxed home environment. If both of us were working, schedules would be very tough, and the kids wouldnt have as much time at home and the home wouldnt run as well. Kids love routine. Kids love the comfort of one of us (they actually love for both of us to be home but that's not practical) at home.
For our twins it allowed us to keep them out of group care for the first two - three years. They were born at 34 weeks gestation; and my DS was significantly underweight (3 pounds) and at risk for RSV they said till he was almost 3 (though honestly he cought up to 'normal' size by 9 months so who knows). Day care wouldnt have been a safe option for us.
Bottom line -- we feel strongly that having a SAHP benefits the kids, by providing the best environment, parental care, etc. Given we can afford it, and DH wants to do it, its a no brainer.
Great point. Were there no direct benefits at all to
I do not mean to nitpick here, but my point in the previous thread was that the most ardent proponents of SAH as a benefit to kids generally can not usually come up with any direct benefit when challenged.
Their failure to do so does not surprise me. Although individual kids may be better off with a SAH (as I mentioned as well in the previous thread, kids with particular special needs, for example), I have yet to see any convincing evidence that having a SAH is generally, on average, better for kids than not having a SAH.
I am not sure where you are trying to go with this survey.
I was hoping you'd correct me if I'd misread your argument--thanks for weighing in because it seems I did indeed miss your point. I thought you were saying that women who SAH did not directly benefit their children by doing so--that they did so for personal reasons.
I was interested to see if there were ways in which SAH directly benefitted the children of SAHP's, or if the decision to SAH is indeed purely selfish. I'm also examining my own motives, because if it's purely selfish I probably should get back in the business of making money!
different strokes, I guess....
my kids had some of this time in the morning as he was the one to get them ready and bring them to dc.