Divorce and the Stay-at-Home-Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Divorce and the Stay-at-Home-Mom
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 9:32am

A few weeks ago, when Melanie Thernstrom wrote here about the lengths to which she and her husband went to conceive her two children, many of you used the comments to say something along the lines of “why go through all that to have children, only to leave them with a babysitter and not raise them yourself.” . . .


What do you think?


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:38am

I don't think that there is any cut and tried answer.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:49am

It depends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 6:23pm

I didn't read the divorce article, but I read the story about the mom who conceived with surrogates.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:23pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Fri, 01-21-2011 - 10:44pm

Totally agree! If you have an amicable divorce (is there such a thing?) and the situation is there for the mom to continue staying home, there isn't a reason she shouldn't However, all mothers should have a back-up plan in place for the worst case scenario. If you're pinning all your hopes to one star who divorced you and is (so far) okay writing you a check every month, you're just looking at a problem. What happens when the last kid turns 18? What happens now that she doesn't have any income at all? There is a huge need to diversify income streams for all families, but especially that one.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 8:55am

I completely agree with this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2009
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 11:45am

i think if you want to be a stay at home mom, find something where you can stay at home and don't have to return to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 8:00am

I am going to try really hard not to write this in a way that will create a fire storm.

I have always been a planner. That is who I am. So I started a retirement account when I was 23 years old. I was the only one in the financial planners office under the age of 50.

In my early 30's most moms that I knew stayed at home (kids were that age). I said

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 10:44am

I think everyone needs a plan regardless of work status.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 1:23pm