Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:13pm
What is weird??? wanting to be near family??? if we were divorced, i would never stay here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:19pm
Exactly!!! I used to be fully dependent on him when i was a sahm, but as i have grown and gotten out in the business world, i have no doubts about helping myself, and have made it clear i wont live here forever. once our youngest is out of high school, we are going where I am happy too. i think i dont like it here because i loooooove the beach and am no where near it and of course i miss my family. my parents and my sister are my biggest cheerleaders, and sometimes we need a cheer(and a shoulder), dontcha think??? LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:26pm
<<>>>

Well, savcal's xh should have thought about that when he was screwing around. obviously what he wants is more important than whether he is around his kids. he *pushed* savcal aside, and i dont blame her for moving to be around her strong family support system. i cant imagine trying to make it in a "foreign" region all by myself without any close emotional support. it would definitely not be healthy for my children. im just not built like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 8:38pm
Whether you have done "the right thing" or not, you are doing what you *think* is best for all involved, not just yourself. there are many plusses to you moving the kids close to their extended family. if you stayed near xh, he would probably see the kids as much as he does now, and there you would be out in the middle of the world all by yourself with *no* emotional support. you took quite a blow, and for the kids sake, you *need* to be near your loving parents. clear as a bell to me.

i think you're the bomb mommy, and dont be doubting yourself.

Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 9:22pm
If someone chooses to spend their vacation time flying somewhere to be with someone to satisfy his own needs rather than fly somewhere to satisfy his child's needs, he is indeed "cheating" the child - no, certainly not in the same way as cheating ON a spouse, but he is cheating the child out of his presence.

From what I have seen in Hollie's postings, she has given xh every opportunity to have the kids around and to visit the kids and he has chosen not to take her up on those opportunities. How is that HER fault?

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 9:30pm
Most definitely! Oh, and I totally agree on the beach thing - I live in Rhode Island where the beach is 1/2 hour away. And get this - we're planning on building a house closer to the beach with an inlaw apt for my Mom in a couple of years (My father recently passed away and Mom is alone) so I get the beach AND a cheerleader :) DH is a saint :)
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 11:45pm
I'm sorry, I can't think of anything but the most unlikely of circumstances where the only two choices would be working 13+ hrs a day, or living in substandard housing, living on public assistance and having no healthcare.
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 8:02am
What evidence do you have for such damage?

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 12:47pm

No, I personally believe that it is selfish to "fulfill your IQ" or whatever at the expense of any real time with your children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 12:49pm
I agree that Virgo and her family handle the absence very well, but to say it has zero affect on the kids to not see their dad for a year, and zero effect on their relationship, is completely naive and I believe false.

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