Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:01pm
I'm not talking about keeping money together or separate.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:02pm
I consider it a stregnth to be secure enough that I don't need a job to define me as a person. Even without a job I consider myself to be a full and functioning human being. I consider it a weakness to allow outside parameters define who you are.

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:06pm
Doesn't it depend on the alternative? Why do you assume that SAH is ALWAYS bad for the one who is AH?

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:08pm

<<The one that says that divorced dads don't ever move in their pregnant girlfriend who dislikes his children and have extra expenses AND extra stress.>>


ROFLMAO .. that is one memo I definitely DID NOT get! (okay, okay .. the HWB isn't pregnant, but she did move in, she disliked children as a whole until she met him, and he is having extra expenses because of her)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:11pm
WHAT is the MATTER with you. Please tell me you've been body snatched by aliens because I can't believe the garbage coming from you today.

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:18pm
I don't think we are being very good role models if we always consider the children to be more important than we are. There are times when the kids really do need to be considered first, but there are times when they don't as well.

I don't think you are doing your kids any favors by always placing them at the head of the line. They will never learn very important lessons if you do that. They need to learn that the needs of others must be considered. They need to learn that they are NOT the center of the universe. They need to learn to do things they don't want to do.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:21pm
Here, let me explain it like this. I'm with my kids all day. My work is taking care of my kids. I go through a divorce and have to deal with the emotional blowout of that and on top of it, my kids go somewhere else and I have to deal with the fact that I am not with them anymore AND that it is no longer my job to take care of them. Sure, the first two days might seem fun and different but only if I knew it was temporary. I would be mourning the loss of closeness, the loss of time spent with the kids, being the one who kissed my little guys goodnight every night and gave them their "good morning" hugs in the morning, my role as caregiver. It would be painful, like losing a job you love at the same time as having your best friend move to Australia.

Like cocoapop said, I wasn't assuming I'd get 3 or 4 days a week with kids. CLW made it sound a lot more like the kids would be gone until mom got her financial act together, with a visit scattered in here or there. If mom can handle 3 or 4 days a week with kids, why would they have to go away in the first place?

Another way it would rip my heart out would be that my kids didn't ask for a divorce and I'm sure I would be thinking about how I could have prevented the situation in the first place. I'm assuming I would also be feeling guilty that my kids had to go away and experience the upheaval of a divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:35pm
You forgot the big one, that anyone with half a brain would never stay at home because it is stupid, adds no value, and it is too risky.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:44pm
Why WOULDN"T kids belong with their father? Kids have two parents. Whichever can provide the better home is where they belong. Mom's don't get dibs because they have a uterus.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 4:46pm
Why would someone feel entitled to live off of an ex spouse after the marriage is nullified? In such a case, I would assume that child support would be substantial.

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