Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:16pm
I hate to say it but some of us don't have that kind of marriage and that may be why we can't see eye to eye on much of this. I take the whole "for better or worse, in sickness and in health" part of my vows seriously. I'm in for the long haul and my dh's ability to earn money and my ability to earn money is almost inconsequential on every level. (My ability to tan was more important to my dh when we got married than my ability to earn any income.) To me, the arrangement you have with your dh sounds more like a loose affiliation between two workers, only healthy when it is mutually beneficial, seriously questioned and strained when the benefits are uneven.

I'm curious, what kind of marriage do you wish for your children?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:16pm
(Slapping my head) and makes you a kept woman who is subservient to everyone. Chattel. And now, testosterone deficient.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:46pm

???? I wasn't talking about the court sayinig "Pay $300 now or $5000 later" I was talking about how things realistically work.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:48pm

It was his when he f#$## the other woman.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:52pm
CLW, why are you asking all these questions and in such a viciously mean way? You already KNOW the answer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:53pm
Did you know that a kept woman is one who has an ongoing extramarital sexual relationship with a man? It is the same as being a mistress. It doesn't have a whole lot to do with who pays the bills so much as it is about people not behaving according to the social mores of the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:56pm
blah, blah, blah. Same sorry lyric, same lame tune, no new insight....no old one, either.

yes, yes, yes, CLW, your repetitive, predictable, irrational, judgmental "opinion" on this topic has been logged and noted and most of us can recite it verbatim from memory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 11:04pm
I think you hit the nail on the head. I hope I never have to experience that (until they're off to college anyway, although even then I know I'll miss them). My dh travels rather extensively on business. He's generally gone about 3-4 nights every other week. Nevertheless, whenever the subject of divorce comes up (not for us personally, but the seemingly endless stream of friends/relatives/acquaintances going through it), he talks about how horrible it must be for those parents who don't have physical custody. With his travel schedule, he probably doesn't spend *that* much more time with our girls now than he would if we were divorced, but the thought of them not living under the same roof just seems different somehow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 11:19pm
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Marriage is also a joint decision. If the SAHP thinks that he or she will get a divorce in the future do you think that he or she would decide to SAH??? If DH or DW is the NCP and is at fault for the divorce, he or she should be responsible for some spousal support, in order for the CP until he or she is able to find a job, obtain certification (or re-certification), or receive training for a job. In making the decision for one parent to SAH, the assumption is that they will remain married. This joint decision does not only impact the SAH or WOH parent while married, but also afterwards. I know that if I decided to SAH, (I don't have children yet) I would probably have a spousal support contract set up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 11:20pm
Meh. I'm sure I've opined wrt high needs kids before John's sister was born...and if I did, I KNOW I would not now agree with what I wrote then.. No reason why you can't voice your opinion. We've never avoided telling you we thought you were wrong before ;)

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