Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
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Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:24am
I'm not talking where you shop. That's irrlevent but where you live, the kind of dc you can afford while you work, the quality of schools the kids attend all matter. If dad can provide better than he can provide better. Why would you want the children living a lesser SOL? Why would you want the worse neighborhood when you can have better for th kids? Mom isn't, automtically, the preferred parent just because she has a uterus.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:26am
LOL. Nope. Try doing some reading on SOL. You'll find it's one of the things that actually matters WRT how kids turn out. Yes, I think kids are better off with a financiall stable parent than a financially struggling one. Why would I think they'd be better off in the household that is struggling?

You forget, I've raised two kids from hand to mouth already and I grew up in a struggling household. I know the impact first hand. I understand they the researchers correct for SES before they publish study data. They know it matters and it does. Why wouldn't mom want what's best for her kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:27am
You nailed it.

I'd also add that I think it's unbelievably patronizing that Felicia so frequently tags on the age of our younger posters (charlesmama, okmrsmommy) as a reason she can't believe anyone of her (and my) age should agree with them. She's flattering herself if she believes age = maturity of opinion or behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:29am
Sorry to hear that. Things must vary wildly from state to state. Dss has no choice in spite of circumstances of the break up of his marriage. He will have to remain in the state he's in until she allows a move and I doubt she will. Hopefully, she'll come to her senses and actually want to get involved in her son's life again but you'd think since she doesn't want to anyway, they'd let him move where he has support.


Edited 5/3/2004 6:34 am ET ET by grimalkinskeeper
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:31am
Why are you reading so much into my posts? Making a day of attacking the poster instead of the post?? If you read my post, you'll see that dss is getting divorced and wants to leave the state but can't because the courts will not allow him to take dgs. I'm surprised it was allowed in this case. Dss has been told he will not be allowed to leave the stae because he has to allow for frequent visitation in spite of the fact ddil is interested in things besides her son right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:34am
"Whichever can provide the better home is where they belong." Thanks for agreeing with me. Maybe you should be the one signed up for HOP if you think I've ever said kids presumptively belong with mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:41am
Um, no, he'll be PARTIALLY providing for the kids now, when he was presumably fully providing for them before if she was a SAHP. She'll have to get a job and provide for them too.

You keep misusing the word "nullifies," btw. Look it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:57am
You don't appear to know what alimony is, nor have you provided one shred of support for your position. I wonder if you can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:01am
Oh, good! It wouldn't be a financial burden for dad to pay temporary spousal support and child support! All the more reason for it, because after all, I'm not out to punish dad. I'm out to keep the onus from falling on the welfare system for the mess they created.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:05am
I still gotta say I disagree. I certainly see my DH and I as people in our own right, that is, 2 (1+1). Felicia and karenester apparently see a married couple as one: that is, the WOHP is the one, the SAHP is the zero.

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