Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:44am
No, the "cynical WOHMs here" didn't all go into marriage <>. Quite a stretch. Accepting the fact that divorce could happen is not quite "planning for divorce." I'm married 13 years. I can't see myself ever divorcing my DH, but I'm also not quite naive enough to think it could never happen. No, I'm not "planning" for divorce, but God forbid it ever happen, I could financially support myself and my children whether or not I have financial assistance from DH.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:47am
I am not self-important! LOL! But can you say you know me IRL??? And is DH an RD (Real Doctor)???
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:50am
Just got to this message and I have a question. I financed our home with $35k of my money from before DH and I were married. I will be paying off our bills (cars and credit, everything except for mortgage) 100% by the end of the summer with my money. DH and I chose for me to SAH two months ago, so I now have no "income", yet by being married to me, DH gets the best nanny in the world for his son and future kids, and a house he never would have had without me, plus a lot of "toys" he never could have afforded.

Am I a "kept" woman?

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:04am
It is not cynicism, it is realism. And anyone who would put their belief in the family court system, has obviously never had to deal with it as a major factor in their lives.

Alimony is not routinely awarded, it is a state by state occurence. In my state alimony has gone the way of the cart and buggy, although there are spousal support arrangments under very stringent conditions, and one that the higher earner can usually get out of in negotiations.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:17am

I am under no such assumption <<"Curious if you are under the impression that anyone else here thinks a SAHM should continue the lifestyle to which she was accustomed by way of indefinite alimony.">>

 

Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:24am
We may be just talking semantics then. If you mean "first" or "behind" as temporal, well, yes, of course we agree and I would guess charlesmama would too. You put your own air mask on in a plane not because your "need" for oxygen is more than your child's, but because that is the only way you can be conscious to give your child the assistance he needs. I at least thought you and Jenna meant "first" as in "more important" and "behind" as "less important."


Edited 5/3/2004 10:27 am ET ET by cocoapop
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:30am
You would be a Dentist's Wife did you not fall under the Person in her Own Right exemption due to your employment, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:33am

Would you or would you not be able emotionally to pull yourself together to WOH if necessary, in the event of death, divorce, disability or other disaster?

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:38am
LOL! Can't I be both?! Do I really have to take sides??? LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:39am
I agree.

People who really don't care to have custody also sometimes hold the threat of a lengthy fight over it over the head of the parent who wants it more than anything, just to get them to accept less than that to which they and the kids are entitled. "Milking" or "browbeating" are equally inappropriate but both happen.

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