Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:31pm

I just thought I'd add, the main reason I don't think it's a big deal is that I don't feel like I'm taking a risk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:34pm

What about the risk of having to make $7 an hour when you're 70 and really don't feel like WOH for 40 hours a week and can't afford to retire?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:37pm
And i don't want to be a self-important snob who is a leech off of her exspouse becasue she cannot be bothered to support herself and suck up responsibility for the choices that she freely made--like not maintaining a capacity to earn a decent wage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:38pm
I don't really see any needs that desire is being put in front of... it's more along the lines of... mom or dad *needs* (cough) to go to medical school and be gone almost all the time, even though mom or dad should have gone before having kids if it were that important.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:39pm
Well I wouldn't say that I was fully functional at that time either. Being able to go to work, or even excel at work, is not an accurate measure of how someone is holding up.

And this was certainly not the best situation for dd at the time, although she has become a wonderful young woman. (even if she doesn't want to be yet). My point is, it is not that easy, it is an adjustment and family court/custodial agreements have little to do with the best interest of the child. Having more money - or in the x's case - having more on paper, has little to do with parental ability. Or even the ability to select a quality care provider.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:40pm
LOL... I don't see the connection.. do you mean that by SAH, I *obviously* couldn't have a retirement fund... or that for the 30 yrs after my children are grown I'm going to sit in the house and do nothing?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:42pm
You're a second wife aren't you... have you actually read any of the posts?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:45pm
ROFLMAO!

Maybe YOU don't obsess over your third child, like you would your first one - but as the mother of three; in all phases of custody and working arrangments; I can guarantee that I have obsessed equally.

SUS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:47pm
So much so that I have a hard time seeing holeless jeans as a need. All mine have holes in them, LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 12:48pm
I didn't say that, and frankly, the slew of you posters who like to take a specific response to a specific hypotheticla, create an aboslute rule that was never actual said or implied, and then attack the falacious rule make this board tedious and defeat any real discussion.

In the scenario of my being married to Tom Cruise, I would not quit my job to loll around doing nothing all day, which was the suggestion made. My job does contribute to society, my job is pers0nally fulfilling, and even if I won the powerball lotto, I wouldn't quit my job, becasue I like being personally fullfilled, I like contributing to society through my job,a dn I like my job.

It's not hard until you try to rewrite my post to mean much more than I ever said, ehich is what you and others, like coco and her puffs, have been doing.

Pages