Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
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Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
| Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm |
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.
I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.
The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?
Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

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I don't know that my solution is to plunge dad into poverty - do you? Do you know what dad earns and what mom needs to make up the difference? Generally no matter how it shakes down with support and a job, Mom is maintaining a household of 2 (for the sake of argument) on about 70% of the prior income while dad is maintaing a household of 1 on 77% of his income. How is that equitable to the children?
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Do you really know this? How?
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Again, where is the decision to SAH only hers?? The dad should have spoken up sooner and seen the ramifications of his input into this master plan. He could have made sure that she held savings and credit in her name before she agreed to the SAH plan - maybe it was his idea.
No, I don't want dad's income transferred to her, I want the children taken care of in a manner that eases the transition of divorce and keeps the family out of poverty. I didn't realize that this was such a horrific goal.
SUS
Actually, since I spend so much time chatting with men...I think I should let out their dirty little secret. Every single married with kids one of them - has a divorce plan. Its not a "I plan to divorce and when I do..." plan...its an "If my wife kicks me out..." plan. I think overall men are more aware of the reality that they, their intentions and their desires, as known to them, represent 50% of the real deal. Women seem to have an easier time ignoring this reality.
Let's dissect it:
You write: "I don't want to be a kept woman, no matter how much money my ex makes."
Fair enough. You have the right to want what you want. I am not in a position to disagree with what you want.
I don't see a SAHM as a "kept woman". I worked darned hard to help my dh get where he is today.
You also write "I am my own person in my own right, with my own skills that contribute to society, and just becasue my spouse is a multimillionaire, I still have a responsibility to myself and my children and my community to be a productive, self-sufficient member of society."
I didn't write that. YOU DID. This line suggests that without a paid job you would consider yourself a non person. It suggests that every person who does not have a paid job is shirking her responsibility to herself and her children and her community because she is not a productive, self-sufficient member of society. It certainly suggests that you see people without jobs as not being people in their own right.
It suggests that you see no value to anything but paid work because anyone who doesn't engage in paid work is shirking her responsibility to herself, and her children, etc.
If you didn't mean what you wrote please explain what you DID mean.
Jenna
And BTW-there are loads of things to do when you don't work, including, but not limited to, gardening.
Jenna
I was answering a question about would you quit working if "X." It was not a question about my view of SAH. I do not SAH, have never desired to SAH, and would not begin to start wanting to SAH just becasue I married Tom Cruise.
People Not In Their Right Mind might be an interesting subject for a Venn diagram too!
I also do not think the 50% divorce statistic applies to me and my dh. We have been married more than ten years, there are certain characteristics to our marriage that increase our chances of avoiding divorce. And you do not know my dh.
I am not pretending stuff doesn't exist. And if you knew my dh and I personally, you'd know that the person in our relationship who is more nervous about the possibility of divorce is him not me. I am strong and smart and independent and I would go so far as to say he needs me more than I need him at this stage in life.
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