Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:57pm

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 5:59pm

I most certainly did not claim that cheating means you get your kids taken away as punishment.


I claimed that if you know the consequences of your potential actions and then take those actions anyway, you can't be all upset that the consequences actually happened.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:04pm

Interesting. <>


Same with xh and our divorce. He knew full well the consequences of his actions. Yet in his case you think I'm punishing him. I'm not. He's simply having to live with the consquences of his actions. It was a risk he was obviously willing to take. He lost the kdis because I do the bulk of the caregiving; because he travels 40-50% of the year; because they are better off with me. He knew that when he cheated; yet did it anyway.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:22pm
Well.. IMHO.. yeah, bye bye medical school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:23pm
I guess that risk isn't large enough to bother me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:28pm
"I claimed that if you know the consequences of your potential actions and then take those actions anyway, you can't be all upset that the consequences actually happened."

Why does that apply to cheating, but not to choosing to be underemployed or unemployed? That is the exact argument I've been making for days.

Those who choose tp be underemployed know the potential consequences and should not be upset when they happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:38pm
He also thought it was ok to go around banging another chick while he was married, so I don't think HIS emotional state is one we want to base anything on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:42pm
I gathered that we and our spouses only need eachother for what we can DO for eachother, like watch children, cook food, or earn a living, rather than what we ARE to eachother beyond that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:45pm

Not really, because she was specifically addressing a certain law that you brought up, which states no alimony.


Property distribution has nothing to do with alimony.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:47pm

Because the choosing to be underemployed was a decision made by both parties, jointly.


I most certainly did not particpate in xh's decision to cheat.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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