Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:52pm
And Tx's bankruptcy laws were relevant to alimony how exactly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:31pm
Sorry, must have misread, however, I still have an answer. Understanding how something comes about and thinking it ideal are two different things. When one party is from one state and the other from another, there is a chance the kids will end up in a different state than one parent. While not ideal, it is a natural consequence of the split up as it is natural to want to live where you have support. If dss ever gets the courts permission to leave the state, it won't be to punish his wife. It will be so he has the support he needs. Will it be ideal that dgs will be in one state and his mother in another? No but it will be the best solution for the custodial parent who is the one who needs support here. Sometimes the best solution is not what would be deemed the overall optimal one. Keeping the kids in the same state as both parents is important but making sure the custodial parent has the support they need can be more important.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:36pm
Yes, but the party choosing to be under/unemployed knows their risk is greater and they freely take that risk. If they wanted a guarntee of compensation for said risk, they should get a prenup so that compensation is a joint decision as well. Ending up in an underemployed situation is a natural consequence of a break in employement or lack of job skills.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:36pm

I'd say that "likely" is an overgeneralization on your part.


There are many, many school districts in the nation that have an open-district policy; meaning you can send your child to any school in the system, regardless of where you live within that system. Add those to the multitude of systems that have pretty equally good schools in all districts and you're far from "likely".


<<If one parent can provide better for the kids, that's where they belong.>>


Again, its not about "providing" more financially if both parents are "fit". There are a host of other factors, many of which have been pointed out here to you, that need to be considered. Even if you level the playing field on "fitness" of parenting, and dad has more money, that doesn't mean the kids are better with him.


(and before you go off on a "why is it automatically mom" thing .... I'm not. I've known many a child that was better in the custody of the father. But that decision wasn't based on finances and fitness of parent alone.)

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:38pm
LOL. No stronger than any other mom. Sorry but research doesn't support your notion that mom has a stronger bond based on working status.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 7:41pm
No. Because BOTH parties know the risk of a marriage ending. In our society, marriages are routinely ended. Anyone who has the crazy notion it can't happen to them is a fool. Both parties know the score. Both parties take the risk when they get married. Both pay the price if the marriage doesn't work out. Marriage isn't forever. It's by mutual agreement for as long as they both agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:16pm
I'm not talking about MY jeans.....or any adult's jeans. I'm talking about appropriate clothing for kids in situations other than mud fights in warm weather.

I don't consider jeans with blown-out knees acceptable clothing for anything but rough and tumble play outside on the weekends, in warm weather. Since I live in an area of the country where a good deal of the year is cold (or at least chilly), wet, we get snow, and the kids attend school and church regularly, I consider clothing in good repair as a NEED, not a want. Ripped and torn clothing is NOT appropriate dress for many kinds of weather.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:28pm

OMG ... we're agreeing!


Good luck to your dss. As much of an ass as he is, my xh is smart enough to know that being with me is best right now for the kids. And that me being near my support circle is best for me. I didn't need the court's permission because I had xh's written permission.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:32pm

roflmaopmp


Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:53pm
Not all (most?) SAHMs have money of their own, separate from their husbands'.

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