Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:04pm
Believe it or not, even though I SAH, I don't do either gardening or scrapbooking. And I still don't believe FDE would continue working if married to TC. In the same way I, a former lawyer, truly don't believe her when she, a lawyer in private practice, claims to contribute anything to society. Lawyers do not contribute to society. Nurses, drs, social workers, cops do.

No one enjoyed her job more than I. I loved the trials, the arguing of appeals, objecting and being sustained. Once, I actually withdrew my own objection! And the judge allowed it. Now that's living. And yet I still would not continue working if married to TC or anybody if money allowed. There are just so many things being said here by FDE that are unbelievable. Kudos to CP for her excellent investigative work. Impeachment is the cornerstone of good debate. At least CLW conceded her similar bias.

And, like everybody, while DH may enjoy his job some days, he works for the money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:16pm
You're not going to claim that Nicole Kidman or Maria Shriver are typical working women? I think it can take at most about 2 wks to film an entire 2 hr movie these days. In a bad yr, NK may be on vacation for 10 months, and still earn millions.
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:42pm
I totally disagree that the DH of a SAH is "financing her life" as you put it. Is your company financing your very existance on this earth? Are you financing your nanny's life? She (your nanny) is providing a very important service for which she is compensated. A SAH is providing that service for her family and her compensation is being able to not work outside of the home.

My DH is not financing my life - he's providing for OUR family, a role he happily accepts. I'm not SAH to sit on my butt all day, I SAH to take care of OUR son.

We have BOTH contributed financially to this marriage. For years I made over 10K more than he did and that money was "ours" - why is it any different now? Was I partially financing his life because I made more than he did?

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:57pm
But you moved. That was your decision. I know lots of women whose dh's cheated on them who didn't end up 1000 miles away.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:59pm
And yet, plently of marriages survive infidelity. Even repeated infidelity.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:04am
Or an ex-spouse not paying or receiving support could disagree with you. I know I certainly do.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:14am

So, the only reason anyone would oppose alimony is because they resent their spouse having to pay it?


Get real. I've never supported

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:16am
Yup - and what's more, my sd has been an incredible blessing in my life. I can't imagine turning away such a gift.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 12:27am
Don't be silly - of course they weren't relevant at all. But now that you live in Texas, you have to accept the fact that you've become an ignorant hick cowboy and everything about your existence is laughable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:13am
No, the question was "Is it impossible to believe that someone can be smart, funny, independent, resourceful, confident, comfortable in her own skin, and worldly and still choose to SAH?"

You don't and never have SAH so how do you know who is allowing and permitting and supporting whom? How could you possibly know how it works? Here's how it works at my house. Two people fall in love. They develop a long term relationship. They speak about having a family. They find out they both value having a SAHP and are determined to raise their children with one. They eventually get married and think about having a baby. When they finally get to that point they decide who would be best suited to SAH. They have a baby and the one designated to SAH does so and the other one continues in his career.

No one gave anyone "permission" to SAH. No one is allowing anyone to "continue to be a SAHP." They decided on a plan of action and did what needed to be done to fulfill it. They are players on a team and each player has his or her role. He doesn't need permission to WOH and she doesn't need permission not to WOH. He doesn't allow her to SAH and she doesn't allow him to WOH. They work together to achieve their goals. They depend on each other for various things.

Pages