Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:04am
I Love it!
Tonya
Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:06am
No.
Tonya
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:14am
<> Which WOHMs would they be? Because as a WOHM who has never supported what you've accused "WOHMs'" of doing, I really get tired of you lumping us all into one group that all think alike. And I don't know too many WOHMs on this board who "insist every woman work even if the family prefers and has the means to have a sahm."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:15am

I thought SAHPs do more than just care for the kids.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:16am
RFLMAO!
Tonya
Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:27am
I would have thought that the potential ramifications for cheating on a spouse - would be loss of the marraige. Not loss of the kids. I think this makes a good point though. I suppose your husband wasn't really considering the possibility that you'd haul the kids off accross the country if you split up. Bet not. Reinforcing the point that as a result of divorce - people don't behave altogether the way one might predict pre-divorce when love and committment are still at least some valid part of the overall picture. So too for this "but *we* decided *I'd* be dependant on *him* financially...so I can expect some sort of financial support from *him* because *we* once agreed to this back while we still loved each other " line of thinking is really a rather bigger risk than I think alot of women are willing to face.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:32am

But he is still reaping the benefits of her previous support for his career. Her support in the early years, often has a definite financial impact 5, 10, even 50 years from now. So, although the support from her was provided in the past, his benefit from that support continues well into the future. Its like putting money into an interest bearing account; she's no longer putting that suppport in, but he's still earning interest. Since that interest is being calculated on support that was her input, she deserves some of that accumulated interest.


And so are companies all over the world who benefit from their previous employees' work and knowldege that built the company.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:34am
"I don't need anyone's permission to WOH, to support myself and my children." No, but you do need his permission to WOH, to support yourself and your children and to be married to him.

So he'd either want you to make $ or you'd better be performing sex acts after serving him china-plated dinners? You make him sound like such a swell (and modern) guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:39am
The way I look at it, in this general married-and-supported-financially-by-spouse scenario, the (usually) man is investing with rather high risk strategy, but investing capital he can afford to loose without suffering undo hardship. The (usually) woman is investing with the same high risk strategy, but she is investing capital she can't afford to loose without subjecting herself to a much greater degree of hardship. They are investing to the same degree in the same risky instrument...but the degree of risk incurred by each is NOT equal or the same. So yes. The husband and wife are agreeing to the same thing...but they are not each incurring the same degree of risk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 11:46am

In your case, you actually contributed (hands on) to your husband's career.

Tonya

Pages