Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Pages

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:05pm
I wouldn't say we limit it to just when HE wants it! Dh is returnin to FL on Wed and I am planning for a joyous reunion. I even thought about buying a new outfit.

Gotta keep things fresh you know.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:06pm

If I wanted to be AH and felt strongly about it, I would bend over backwards to make DH happy so he'd let me continue to SAH.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:08pm
I'm not wacked out at all. I just think people whould support themselves. And people should live with the consequcnes of their own, freely-made adult decisions. Is that such a stretch that only a second wife would feel that way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:08pm

I can understand that you have a wonderful husband, so do I.

Tonya
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:09pm
You are mixing up GICs with high risk investments again.

<>

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:17pm
But if you love your husband don't you automatically want him to be happy?

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:22pm

Yes I do.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:28pm
I think this goes to the core of what marriage is though. Marriage is voluntary. At least in our case. We remain married because we want to remain married, not because we have to, or because we have kids, or because it's easy or because we have no other choices.

And it seems to me that if you have a marriage that's based on love, respect, and trust that one person DOESN'T have the unilateral power to change things. But BOTH partners have the ability to address issues, including whether the other partner should work. Both partners have to agree to what the roles of each partner will be. If they do not agree then the marriage will dissolve.

A marriage cannot be based on an imbalance of power and still stand. It goes back to the famous quote by Abraham Lincoln "A house divided against itself cannot stand." This is as true for families as it was for our country. The partners need to agree NOT ALLOW one another to do or not do things. Sometimes a partner will agree to things that are not their first choice. When people start unilaterally changing their spouse's life the marriage is unlikely to stand.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:30pm

Could you please define "even nicer"?


Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 3:32pm

"A marriage cannot be based on an imbalance of power and still stand."


But every marriage is a power struggle.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages