Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:06pm

That's an idealistic view - sometimes that's all there is to it, sometimes there's more.


Don't you ever want to be especially nice to him if he's just back from a grueling business trip, during which time you got a manicure at some point and had the house cleaned and had fun with the boys?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:13pm
Yes there are times I want to be especially nice to dh. There are various reasons (sometimes there is no reason). But it's because I want him to be happy not because I want him to do something for me.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:25pm
Either parent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:27pm
IMO, yes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:30pm
I don't get it. Why would how nice you would be to him depend on how nice a time you had had in his absence? I can see how it might make you more relaxed and ABLE to be nice, but the way you put this, and the "concrete example" you gave of your DH being nicer on the day he's going to blow his promise of being home at a reasonable time, sound like you both would be acting nicer out of some sense of guilt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:31pm

I haven't read through this whole thread, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:33pm
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:36pm

Hmmm, odd.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:36pm
Pretty much the kids were grown, and they both wanted to do totally different things with the rest of their lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:39pm
So we are back to punishment for his bad behavior.

It seems that even though you knew the risks of not pursuing you rcareer mroe while married, you think he should pay you alimony to make up for that.

But becasue he knew the risk that upon divorce should you take the kids and move far away from him, he simnply has to get over it becasue he was in the wrong.

So he lives with the consequences but you don't, because he was the bad guy. Like I said, punishment.

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