Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2003
Divorce rulings on SAHM's alimony?
1358
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 10:29pm
I have seen this many times, and I am wondering what your guys' opinion on this. Of course with divorce rates so high we find couples with children in court all the time finding out what is entitled to mothers for alimony. The argument is, should SAHM's receive more alimony then WOHM's? This meaning SAHM's who have through the whole marriage stayed at home with the children while the fathers successeds in their careers. This also meaning if they are going to pursue a career after the fact is their income be significant enough compared to the EX since they have been out of the work force for years and has not gained experience in what ever career the would have pursued.

I personally know someone who went through the exsact same thing and had a hard time finding a job(with income compareable) after the divorse since she hadn't worked for 25yrs.

The question also arise, does the SAHM contribute to the Fathers success because they choose to stay home therefore they should receive a cut now that they are divorced (the same as many would if they were still married)?

Thoughts? Please state weather you are a SAHM or WOHM when you place your comments

Be who you are and say what you feel because those  who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:39pm
*Why* is it selfish for one parent to have a 60 hour workweek if it allows the other parent to SAH with the kids and the family is financially secure?

*Why* is it selfish for a parent to attend school fulltime to obtain a higher education so they can be a more fulfilled and happier person (and thus a better parent) and obtain a higher paying job (and thus be a better provider)?

Should parents put off these goals/dreams of theirs for 18 years until their children are grown and out of the house?

Just because YOU wouldn't choose this route for your family does not make those individuals who DO choose it "selfish."

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:40pm
I agree.... I try to do nice things for my husband all the time, not just when I'm a SAHM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:42pm
Why?

If you are spending the same amount of total hours away from your children, why is it "better" to spread these hours out over a period of years rather than get them out of the way in a shorter period of time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:43pm
IME, the dh's desire to HAVE a SAHP matches or outweighs the moms desire to SAH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:46pm

LOL, grueling business trip while I'm out getting a manicure?


When dh spent three weeks in Nigeria while I was home with a 22 m/o and 2 m/o, I think we were probably on equal ground as to who had it worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:46pm

You have this picture in your head of a woman conning some guy into "letting" her SAH with the kids, even though he couldn't care any less.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:48pm
They get severance pay here...if the company would rather give the employee severance pay, instead of fair notice. Thats about where the legal obligation of employer to terminated employee ends. I don't think too many earning spouses thinking of divorcing depenadnt ones would have much trouble with this arrangement. You should know - those really GOOD severance packages...they don't just happen and there are no laws. Those things GET NEGOTIATED by the employee when the employee signs on. Think PRENUP. IN FACT. Think SIGNING BONUS. Its another way to go. Think...the one taking the risk takes responsibility for having financial a$$ covered. Not vice versa.

Employment insurance is just that. Insurance. You pay in, you get out. There is no divorce insurance. Becuase the numbers just would not work out in order to make such a thing financially viable (so kind of to the point about people betting their self sufficiency on the stability of marriage...). Nothing really stopping a dependant spouse from socking something away though in case divorce happens. Good idea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:49pm
It is not a favor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:52pm
My marriage has never been a power struggle, not even in the first year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:56pm
If they both want a SAHP, equally as much, then I agree with you.

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